Sexiness can be better than sex: how to not give it up but keep him trying

This is some of what I’ve observed and what I have been trying throughout my life.  Girls can have all sorts of reasons for not wanting to get down and dirty with a guy too soon:  personal morals or beliefs, tactical reasons to enchant a guy, personal hesitations, etc.

 

I’m still experimenting and compiling tips so let’s see what else I learn!

 

Note:  all of these tips assume that some guys just won’t put up with not getting any action.  I’ve seen lots of guys who won’t wait around or just get angry and give up

 

These tips will probably only work on a guy who is serious about a girl, or at least has the potential to be serious about a girl.  I’m not entirely sure…

 

How to Keep a Guy Interested without Giving It Up

 

Show glimpses of the tigress within (pardon the cheesiness)

Girls can use the old principle of “lady in the street freak in the sheets.”  She can show herself as classy, sweet and delicate, but let hints of something else much more naughty peek through every so often.  This could be things like talking about how good a massage felt or how delicious something tastes.  Or, if there is already some physical stuff going on she can talk about how good it feels, how much she likes it, etc.

 

Oozing sex and sensuality are also ways to do this:  let that sexy little underwear peek out but in an innocent way, etc. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can think of.

 

A girl should seem like she loves sex or will love sex, but doesn’t give it up so easily because of her morals/need for love/etc.

 

 

Ooze sensuality

You know how guys say they find a woman who is partially clothed more of a turn-on than a straight up naked woman?  It’s because the hint of something naughty is far more sexy and sensual than something that’s totally obvious.

 

If a girl can drip with sensuality and sexiness in everything she does, she might be able to keep his mind thinking of how HOT she is and how to win her over (even over a long period of time): 

 

  • How a girl walks and moves her body in general

A good walk can hypnotize a guy and drive him crazy.  If she also knows how to stand, sit, and generally move sexily, this helps a ton. 

 

  • How a girl dresses

She can dress sexy but “good girl sexy,” or bad girl sexy even! Not sure what works best myself.  I like to dress with clothes that cover me up yet are very fitted and have like 1-2 sexy/naughty things.  When I wear something very revealing I feel like I get less attention, which is really interesting to think about. 

 

Outfits with some “reveal-conceal” movement are especially good (remember J Lo’s deep v-neck dress from way back in the day, which everyone would get hawk eyes on any time the wind blowed or she walked?)

  • How a girl talks, her mannerisms, and her facial expressions

The very small, simple things can make a man’s mind race.  If every little thing a girl does is sexy, men will always be in a sexily charged atmosphere around her and obssessively thinking how to actually tap that.  They will keep coming back for more… but if she’s too sexy, some guys may just get too turned on and go caveman!  That’s when it gets hard to get him to back down without making him angry (see “cuteness and innocence” below for what I’ve tried).

  

Use cuteness and innocence

 

Some girls make it a fun game, like “catch me if you can heehee!”  Every time he tries something naughty with her… she might give him a little bite of the good stuff… then moves away.  If he really gets into it, she innocently giggles… maybe even says “what a tiger!” or something if he goes too far… she is sweetly feminine and happy when pushing him away.

 

She also uses hypnotic gaze (she knows how to control a man briefly with her eyes).  That buys her time while she thinks of how to get out of the situation lol.

  

If he pesters her about why she won’t do more or he gets too aggressive, she can sweetly say “I need more time” or “I’m not ready yet…” or “I don’t know.”  And she doesn’t explain too much which is useless because men and women communicate so differently.  Smart girls are very careful to not say anything about themselves like “I’m traditional” or “I like to take things slow.”  Smart girls understand that men communicate in terms of actions and needs.  Girls shouldn’t talk too much (by explaining on and on and on).  Guys think girls who say stuff like that are weird. lol

 

I’ve found just making little shy faces (and I am shy about talking about it!), just gently pushing away or not responding in a sweet way, has worked.  Only when asks about it and really pushes, do I say anything about it and even then, it’s just like one sentence (I’m not ready, etc.).

Be perfect in every way

If a girl is perfect in every way, from how she looks to how she acts (fun and sweet and pleasant), if a guy is serious about her he will wait.  He may even respect her more for not putting out so soon.  He will be so excited by her, and so attracted from his heart that he will be able to control himself a bit.  But he will probably try as much as possible to put her to ease and make her want it too. lol 

 

UPDATE

Inspiration for all girls who want to save themselves for marriage/true love/whatever else: Adriana Lima

 

(It’s hard for me to try to look like her, but I try to copy her facial expressions and posture heehee :-))

16 Responses to “Sexiness can be better than sex: how to not give it up but keep him trying”

  1. Default User Says:

    You do seem to have the sexuality/sensuality bit down – all hints but nothing very direct. You are definitely a naughty little vixen or at least working at becoming one. And that is a good thing.

    The problem is that all that sexuality/sensuality is about building tension. The tension should be escalating to an end point (that would be sex). If it does not it (eventually) becomes a tease.

    Do you have a particular length of time you want to wait for, or are you a waiting for marriage? If it is the latter, you might be better to be straight up. That is the perfect filter for the man you want. Traditional men do exist and such a declaration will only raise your stock in their eyes. If it is important for you then you should not worry about losing some because the ones you lose did not share your values.

    For the other men: Twenty years ago the “respect her for waiting” might have worked. Not today. It probably takes six months to know if he/she is the “one.” That is a long time to keep the motor idling and the meter running.

    The reason men “get angry and give up” is that they feel she is not really interested or she is playing him. Part of any relationship is to have our needs met (physical and emotional). If his needs (physical in this case) are not met then he should move on. These men are giving up because their needs were not met. They give up because they assume you are not really attracted. They are angry because they feel teased, used, or played.

    I am more “romantic” than many men. Sex is better with an emotional connection. I don’t do pump ‘n’ dump. I understand and enjoy the game of seduction. I understand and enjoy anticipation and building tension. I understand and enjoy that sexual attraction is both physical and emotional. However, I am not going to wait forever. Many men will be even more business-like in their approach.

    That said, it sounds like you play a very good game. I am not sure I would want to fall into your clutches. From now on I am going to refer to you as LSV (LovelySexyVixen).

  2. Default User Says:

    LSV:

    You might be able to save yourself some time and effort.

    http://seekingarrangement.com/

    They New York Times explains all:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/magazine/12sugardaddies-t.htm

  3. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    lolll at vixen. Don’t feel like one but thanks :-) heehee

    Great points and insights, especially about being upfront that I am waiting to be physical. When I think about it, once or twice in the past I have sort of told that I am waiting. But with most guys, I assumed that they figured it out; over time it’s probably clear that I am fairly religious, and my general lifestyle and even comments on celebrity gossip, for example, might have given some good hints.

    I’m definitely going to think about being more direct and upfront, even though it will feel like the most awkward conversation ever! But it sounds like it’s better to do that than come across as a tease/user/player.

    It’s so nice to hear about a guy who agrees that sex is better with an emotional connection. And that you don’t do pump and dump! Reaffirms that there are hot (Alpha-ish) yet good guys out there. :-)

    Yipes I better get back to Easter fun… laters all!

  4. Default User Says:

    As a re-read this before clicking “submit” I realized it all sounded a bit fatherly. Even though fathers can offer good advice that was not the intended tone.

    I am afraid that I have no suggestions on the “lookee no touchee” conversation. I know it can sound awkward, embarrassing, and even presumptuous*. Maybe a simple “I know this sounds presumptuous but…” delivered early on the first date. Getting this out of the way early may relieve some of your (and his) tension while still allowing the flirting to continue. But, to be honest, I really don’t know. Sorry!

    If this is important to you then it is important to set the ground rules. It may even keep you out of the grasp of temptation. The man (if he is a gentleman) will be less likely to push you towards more sexual situations if he knows your views. Obviously you will lose some men with this declaration. This is a pity but not a bad thing; they failed your most important test.

    You may also want to consider exactly how far you will go (I can think of no more delicate way of putting that). Decide this ahead of time, because in the wonderful intoxication of seduction it is easy to make bad decisions. It will be easier to bring a gentle halt to proceedings if you know that point beforehand. Obviously you do not have to share your chosen end-point with your man (we have to leave some fun and mystery).

    Like you, I have Easter fun to attend to (back from a breakfast, off to dinner).

    * It is probably more difficult for a man with the same outlook (it will definitely sound presumptuous from a man).

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Hey it’s really sweet of you to give advice and insights, no worries here about the tone :-)

      So I’ve been thinking all weekend about how I would communicate that I’m “saving myself” so to speak. I have some ideas but will probably share them at a later date (in case one of the guys who hears my spiel happens to read this site, you never know ;-) ).

      And good point about deciding how far I want to go.

      UPDATE>>OK Default User, if you are emailed copies of my comments maybe you are laughing at how many times I edit them right after first publishing them! So I decided I felt uncomfortable with some semi-specific information I gave in my original comment, and so have deleted it out.<<UPDATE OVER

      Not being physical makes every touch, every caress, and every embrace all the more powerful. I go into a daze just remembering how a guy I like grabbed my hand firmly or let his hand linger gently on my waist :-) It’s almost poetic to think about… and can be quite pleasurable in its own way. :-) Cheesy perhaps, but makes me happy any way

  5. Default User Says:

    LovelySexyVixen:

    Damn! I don’t bother with e-mail updates so missed the now redacted information. Ahh well!

    With subjects like this it is difficult to get it right (deciding what to say and how to say it). I often edit and rewrite my comments before sending them (here and elsewhere). I do not bother clicking the “notify me” button, so edit away.

    …every caress, and every embrace all the more powerful. I go into a daze just remembering … It’s almost poetic to think about … Cheesy perhaps, but makes me happy any way.

    Nothing cheesy at all. That is exactly what seduction is all about (for both of you). If is not head spinning, daze inducing, or intoxicating, perhaps it is not working. This is not a job interview, this is lurve. <- last word to be said in a Barry White voice.

    Hey it’s really sweet of you…

    The “sweet” word. Oh Oh!. That means I have just been LJBFed. To rescue this I will have to throw out some negs or try some cocky funny. You cheeky little minx!

  6. Default User Says:

    Hahaha! Oh, I laughed! Does that mean you succeeded?

    I don’t know. It could mean that I am now a nice clown. This is getting worse by the minute.

    Don’t force me to go caveman on you!

  7. Boys who are too confusing: cognitive dissonance and the “neg” « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    [...] With Guy 2, I was confused by him acknowledging that I kind of look like that celebrity but then him saying again and again how he doesn’t like her.  Only once did he acknowledge that she’s considered hot, which at the time filled me with joy, but then it was back to saying she was not hot. For a little while I was like, OK maybe he just sees me as a friend…who was doing pretty much all of the pursuing.  But I was having fun so it was no biggie, I continued to see other guys as well But then Guy 2 also kept on telling me how beautiful I looked when he first saw me and how he just had to talk to me, how much he likes seeing me, how great I look tonight, etc. (Just in case you are wondering if he was getting something physical from me: NO he wasn’t) [...]

  8. Savvy Says:

    I answered your question on my blog and then decided to visit yours. Good tips. But yes, you’re right, there are many men who become angry and walk away. You don’t want them anyway as they are gaming. drop back by to read what I wrote. :) I love how all we have to do is click on someone’s name to go to their blog. That’s how I found you!
    Savvy

  9. Some of My Favorite Posts of 2008 « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    [...] Sexiness Can Be Better Than Sex: How Not to Give It Up But Keep Him Trying – My horcrux, my invincibility potion, my challenge, my kryptonite.  It may sound like teasing, but the ability to provide sexiness without actually compromising chastity is for me, the key. [...]

  10. Best Bangs…Rayanna with Bebe « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    [...] I remember this campaign because I made it my laptop screensaver   And my Iberian fascination was on full hilt so I really liked the campaign too. (And who know Adriana would be my girl… we both save the V card ) [...]

  11. Anon Says:

    Blah blah blah…. all this entry is complete waste of time if you’re not giving out in the end. Why should the guy even bother to give you ANY attention at all if you’re going to be the tease?

  12. Girl Tips from Boy Game: The Social Proposal « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    [...] my heart soooo much, and it was needed for me to feel like he truly meant the proposal… that it wasn’t just a ploy to get me to compromise my morals or something [...]

  13. regular dating Says:

    regular dating

    Sexiness can be better than sex: how to not give it up but keep him trying | LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty

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