Hot Down South: Southern Gentlemen and Southern Girls are Sexy

I spent a considerable amount of time in the deep American South recently, and continue to spend time among the charming people from that part of the world.

"Hicks" aren't as bad as you think...

Some observations I made about the slice of mighty fine Southern pie I got to try out:

Southern Gentlemen

Being from Texas is close enough ;-)

  • The gentleman is alive and well in the South my friends!  I’m used to door holding, luggage lifting and other random kindness up north and out west.  But the men of the South took it a whole new level :-)  Despite the potentially hick accent, Southern men do the chivalrous thing with finesse, swagger, and a touch of folksy humor.  It immediately livens things up a bit.
  • With the gentleman act, the men do take the lead and have very dominant body language.  You just see alllll man man man.  This comes naturally to them because:
  • Southern men love football. And beer.  And getting into drunken bar brawls.  It may seem foolish, but with the less litigous society down there, manly displays of power don’t have the same serious repurcussions they do elsewhere.  A man who is willing to take and give a punch, man-to-man, is as macho as they get
  • Southern men also love pick up trucks.  Yes, the “Lifetime battered wife movie” type of pick up trucks.  Big cars and trucks appeal to guys down there because men are supposed to be BIG and POWERFUL, and like big and powerful things.  Also pickup trucks come in handy when you are hauling lumber to build and extension to your house on your own, or taking your camping gear into the woods, etc.
  • Men down south have the sorts of real-life skills that most of us city folks take for granted.  They can put together a bonfire in the neck of the woods in 5 minutes, they know about different sorts of handyman tools, they can hunt and fish.  Few are wimpy clueless “city” boys; they could survive in caveman times if needed. Hot!
  • And yes, the guys down there ARE big. Before you make jokes about fatty Southern cuisine (Paula “pork” Deen is popular for a reason), the men who can moderate themselves look healthy and buff.  A few extra pounds on a man, particularly if he’s also doing physical work so he has plenty of muscle, is quite attractive.
  • Don’t forget that all cities need doctors, mayors, businessmen, oil company executives, etc.  The redneck stereotype applies more to the economically disadvantaged type of person who would live in a trailer; there are professionals down South too.
  • Watch out for those Cowboy Casanova types however ;-)

Recommended resources:

Southern Girls

The Midwest and the South have a lot of similarities... she's close enough ;-)

  • Someone told me that, “You know you’re back in the South when the girls in the airport start looking prettier.”  It’s true, Southern women are pretty!  It’s interesting how you start to notice the differences between merely average faces and truly elegant ones, when all women have pretty hair, pretty clothes, make-up and a feminine air.
  • They look pretty because they take considerable care to look good.  They get their hair done (sometimes still with a bit more volume than you’d see in Vogue).  They wear make-up, sometimes generously.  They wear bright and feminine clothes.
  • Southern girls are into cooking and baking with a relish. They take pleasure in making delicious food, from pulled pork to pecan pie. The food is rich and hearty, and very bad for you, but it is oh-so-good.  Also, the concept of cooking at home is alive and well. Food is just better for you when you use ingredients from the local farm and cook it at home. (And eat in moderation of course…)
  • Just like their male counterparts they are charming!  Every southern girl I met was as sweet as southern Sweet Tea (yum).  Girls there flirt a lot, and throw a little sass in there too.  I think that feminine charm+feistyness is an attractive way for southern girls to emphasize that they are empowered but haven’t forgotten what it means to be a woman either.
  • They are into children.  Again, I’m talking less about the really redneck deviant types and more about the upstanding citizens in society.  The girls often have children early (out of wedlock even which is a surprise since church is so big).  Families eat dinner and go to church together.

Recommended resources:

Sidenote on Racism in the American South

First, apologies for not including pics. of the other racial half of the South – Black people!  The best-looking Black Southern Gentleman I thought of was Denzel Washington; turns out he is from New York.  But I think many if not most African-American have roots in the South and I think those who are active in church, for example, seem to have kept genteel traditions as a family thing. (Black friends of mine from the South who grew up normal [not urban/poor] seem to have exceptionally good manners; yes, it could just be a coincidence though.)

So when I have traveled down South, I have been pleasantly surprised to not be stopped by the police, eyed suspiciously, or lynched for looking like “one of them tarristss” or “Bin Lawden’s girl.”

Having origins in a country that people may only know about from “Slumdog Millionaire” (if even that), I felt OK.  It seems like people will treat you with kindness and warmth no matter who you are, as long as you are the same way back. I think most people down South are focused on fun, friends, family, working and church… not one being racist pricks.

Racism does exist though. If you spend time with people from either the white or black camps, you’ll hear them openly criticize the other camp (n-bombs included).  And when they run into one of “those” they know, they’ll give them a warm hug and reminisce about the good times they shared back in high school. Minutes after talking about “that kind”  in very unflattering terms. People are funny.

In conclusion… it is so great to experience that Southern charm. Let’s just say I am one very lucky girl… ahem…! ;-)

22 Responses to “Hot Down South: Southern Gentlemen and Southern Girls are Sexy”

  1. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    Oh, I guess Texas and Oklahoma do count as the South: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/27/arts/television/27heff.html?_r=1

  2. Twitted by fbardamu Says:

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  3. Ferdinand Bardamu Says:

    LSB, you don’t have to go all the way to Dixie to find rugged men with funny accents, strong backs, and country manners. Just take a trip into upstate New York or rural Pennsylvania (old joke: Pennsylvania consists of Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle). I grew up in (and still live in) upstate New York, and most of what you describe the South as could also apply here.

    Other than that, this was a good post. I’ve spent a fair portion of my life in the South (mostly Virginia, the Carolinas, and New Orleans), and you’re spot on about the culture of the place. As for racism, I’d argue that there is more of it in the North, largely due to the fact that Northerners have never been forced to confront it in the way the South has. Race relations are also a LOT worse here.

    Oh, I guess Texas and Oklahoma do count as the South

    Texas and Oklahoma are sort of where the South and Southwest blend together. Cultural delineation is never a tidy process.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Thanks for the comment. Glad you find I captured aspects of the culture. By the way,

      I find New Orleans to be particularly fascinating. It’s definitely Southern but with a mix of French cultural influence, acceptable hedonism, and “creole” blending of peple. I can’t wait to go back and explore it again.

      Americans who aren’t vapid and urban are all over, makes sense. It’s interesting how the “South” has come to embody many of these characteristics moreso than “rural” areas. Or maybe that’s just my perception (I guess “rednecks” aren’t just in the South, but are more closely associated with that part of the US).

      Interesting point about race relations. It seems like ghetto-ization has happened more in the North and other urban areas. When you don’t have to interact with the “Other” regularly, I suppose it limits the dialogue and understanding to be had simply by having to work together in one community.

  4. Linkage is Good for You: Thievery Edition | In Mala Fide Says:

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  5. Southern Man Says:

    “The girls often have children early (out of wedlock even which is a surprise since church is so big).”

    Not at all surprising. The pregnancy rate is about the same as elsewhere (religious or not, teens like to fuck), but because of the influence of the church, the abortion rate is lower.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Ahh… that makes sense. Thank you Southern Man!

      Having lived my life mostly in places where people who are religious are so by choice (at least by the time they hit high school), it’s interesting to see how organized religion can be cultural.

      So you have people who may not fully believe every word of the Bible, but have a cultural affinity for it – and make decisions on the “important stuff” accordingly. Or something. :-)

  6. Frank Says:

    This is a perfect example of the society we live in. Here we have someone trying to make a simple post of hot southern people, yet then the post goes on to “apologize” for not including black photos. But wait, where did this post start out as the hottest white southerners? It didn’t, so why did it have to go on to “apologize” to black people. Maybe this person felt that these two people who happened to be white are the most attractive, so what. By trying to be fair to all, you are essentially seperating and making racial divides because the post was not originally about race groups, its just hot southerners. That is the problem with our country, by trying to be fair and “equal,” this person just proved how our country is not. Just like there are Miss Black America contets, B.E.T, black only scholarships and schools. If there was a white only tv channel or contest, Al sharpton would be marching down the streets before you could blink an eye. White people always seem to ahve to be apologizing and catoring to the blacks , but why? Why, when slavery ended over 100 years ago, and when blacks go around calling themselves the “n” word, do we have to still appease them. They are a rising majority, so they may as well stop calling themselves minorities as well. Basically, the damn liberal ideals where we try to be nice to everyone only creates more of a divide. When we stop being black and white, we will begin to just be people.

  7. Frank F Says:

    This is a perfect example of the society we live in. Here we have someone trying to make a simple post of hot southern people, yet then the post goes on to “apologize” for not including black photos. But wait, where did this post start out as the hottest white southerners? It didn’t, so why did it have to go on to “apologize” to black people. Maybe this person felt that these two people who happened to be white are the most attractive, so what. By trying to be fair to all, you are essentially seperating and making racial divides because the post was not originally about race groups, its just hot southerners. That is the problem with our country, by trying to be fair and “equal,” this person just proved how our country is not. Just like there are Miss Black America contets, B.E.T, black only scholarships and schools. If there was a white only tv channel or contest, Al sharpton would be marching down the streets before you could blink an eye. White people always seem to ahve to be apologizing and catoring to the blacks , but why? Why, when slavery ended over 100 years ago, and when blacks go around calling themselves the “n” word, do we have to still appease them. They are a rising majority, so they may as well stop calling themselves minorities as well. Basically, the damn liberal ideals where we try to be nice to everyone only creates more of a divide. When we stop being black and white, we will begin to just be people.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Hi Frank – Thanks so much for the candid feedback. You make a good point about being overly apologetic all the time.

      Like I mentioned above I’m an “ethnic minority,” so maybe my experiences growing up and feeling invisible or marginalized make me overly sensitive to making sure everyone else doesn’t feel that way.

      I have to admit though that those “bad experiences” I had were mostly when I was much younger, so we’re talking 10-20 years in the past! Maybe making a big deal out of being inclusive to all isn’t as needed.

      Thanks again for making me self-reflect a bit. Merry XMas!

  8. Frank F Says:

    Your welcome, Happy new year

  9. ymarsakar Says:

    10 or 20 years in the past, the South was still mostly Democratic. Then again, the South was voting Democrat before, during, and after the Civil War too.

    Urban centers are still culturally liberal. Cause it’s like Katrina. Cities tend to put people into lock step.

    The choice of whether a woman chooses abortion depends somewhat on what personal advice they get from friends or loved ones, the community they are in, and just exactly what kind of information she is given.

    Because Catholicism doesn’t like abortions, they go out of their way to find alternatives, like adoption, as well as psychological counseling. If you are part of this culture in the South, then you’ll be networked with people who either think similar or will refuse to hide anything.

    Also, regardless of what the Church may want, the people involved simply don’t want to see children suffer a neglected life because of early pregnancy. Shotgun weddings seem to be a joke, but it isn’t based upon religious dogma.

    If you look at Sarah Palin’s family conditions, because she is the type of person that will raise the child of her child, abortion is no longer something to be born by a single mother. Cultures inside the US vary on this, because some are nuclear family based, extended family based, or some odd mix of single to many. It’s the inner city, welfare based conditions that have shattered families that have the highest incidence of abortion. There is no support structure, and few of the social workers care anyways, since, if we are honest, abortion was started up as a eugenics program to get rid of black crime to begin with. There are white inner gang cities, but the problem seems more common in the non-white versions.

    I’m glad you had a pleasant stay here in the sub-region known as the South.

  10. brightstormyday Says:

    @Ferdinand Bardamu:

    My dad’s from upstate New York and he’s kind of like what you described.

    And I love men from upstate New York. LSB, you should come here! It’s amazing.

    Farmerboys…<3

    As for the race relations– it's completely true. I remember my father saying once,"We never had an issue with segregation or racism. There just weren't any black people in our town."

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Ooh… if I wasn’t taken I would have to. Although I just learned Snooki from Jersey Shore is from Upstate… um….

  11. Amelia Says:

    W.O.W.!!!!!
    Could you stereotype anymore?
    Stop trying to fit everything into a little box.
    “The south is one way and the North is this way.”
    There is racism everywhere. Beautiful and ugly people everywhere. Urban and rural parts all over America.
    You make the South sound so old fashioned and “homegrown”. And some parts are, but there is no way you can simply classify the entire south that way.
    I live in Texas (Dallas). Was born here too. And I’ve traveled to New York, Virginia, Philadelphia, Miami, California, Utah, Alaska, Hawaii, Colorado, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arizona, Illinois, South Carolina, and others along the way. Also, Fiji Islands, Italy, France, London, and Zambia. There was segregation in every place. It is always present. And I agree with “Frank”. We should stop acknowledging the divide. Not just between races, but between sexes and social status as well.
    I don’t mean to come down too hard on you. I understand you only visited and were just noticing the differences visible to you. But it’s almost like you only saw what you wanted to see. Open your mind! There are ugly people in airports in the south too. I for one, have on more than one occasion worn my pajamas and a ponytail to the airport.
    Also, I don’t know why you keep making references to Texas hardly being a part of the South? That makes no sense to me.
    Some of these stereotypes are correct. Like, I know so many guys who drive pick-ups, and almost always a door is held open for me. But I think you mistake gestures like those for defining a person as a good one. It’s just how a lot of people were raised, to open doors for others, especially men for women. But I always hold the door open for someone behind me. And I have dated my fair share of “gentlemen” who yes opened doors, smiled charmingly, and cheated, lied, and acted shitty all around.
    Also, I can’t cook worth a damn. And we never got stuff from a farm…
    I think you mistake is in the name you give this class of stereotyped people. It might be less offensive if instead of saying “southern men” you said “country men” or something to that effect. Because I can guarantee you that a vast majority of the population could not whip up a bon fire or a pecan pie with a snap of their fingers.
    There is so much more.. But I just stumbled across this on accident and felt I had to say something. I know you are trying to compliment the south and how much you enjoyed staying here. But it would be so much better if you opened your eyes a little (a lot) more and documented your own personal experiences instead of assumed/calculated definitions of the majority of the population.
    From your post, I assume your origins are somewhere form the middle east?
    How would you feel if someone were to visit and then write about the entire culture underneath one conclusive stereotype? Regardless of how flattering it was meant to be.
    And about the racism. People here are still so so so racist. A lot of what “Frank” said was true. I was surprised that you didn’t see that. If I ever had to stereotype, which I hate doing, I would definitely classify the south as the more racist part of America. Especially between schools, there is segregation. Most schools (elementary, middle, and high school) are either a vast majority of whites, hispanics, or blacks, depending on where you are. It’s unsaid, but there are some schools that most white people would not send their kids too and vice-versa.
    You mentioned something about “10 or 20 years ago” in relation to “when I was young”. I’m 19. I don’t know how old you are, I assume at least 30. I feel like my 19 years of life have opened my eyes to ten times more diversity than yours. Expand your mind. Blur the lines.

    • Kevin Says:

      Dear Amelia,

      As much as stereotypes go, I am not so offended. I mean, people will always create stereotypes, and they merely come from generalisations that of course will not apply to every person. There are always stereotypes on every level. Take for example, me:

      I am a Filipino. I am a gay male (technically I suffer from GID, and thus have a female brain in a male body). I am Canadian, bred, born and raised. I am a devotee of Krishna.

      Now, from these few sentences already, we can construct stereotypes based on our limited understanding and perceptions. Asian Canadians struggle for an identity crisis between predominant Canadian culture and one’s own culture. Canadians are peacekeeping and Canada is a multicultural country. Gay Asians are generally bottoms sexually. Filipino gay men are generally flamboyant. Canadians spell like the British. Hare Krishnas are Hindus, etc.

      Already we are constructing generalisations based on our ideas, and it is merely to help identify with something that is unfamiliar. It also has to do with cultural norms and culturally accepted practices or behaviours.

      The original poster mentioned “Slumdog Millionaire.” She is thus Indian. Depending on the state, she could also speak another language besides Hindi, have a tolerance to spice, and could be religiously inclined towards Sikhism, Hinduism or Islam.

      On a more related note, I am dating a man who is ten years older than me (could this be a preferential thing, or perhaps an influence from the Hare Krishna movement in understanding that relationships are for marriages?), and I am only 21. But having been exposed only for the first time to this Southern beau of mine from Georgia, he is a handsome devil, drives a truck, has a very good appetite (and en ever-expanding bread basket), knows a few things here and there around the house to keep in shape, absolutely polite and charming, and he wants to be a good, providing husband for me, let alone the fact that he is also a devotee of Krishna!

      I really thought that men who were like this didn’t exist anymore, at least in Vancouver, and that my ideas of a strong, responsible husband and man to be with at 21 was a lost cause… Now I just appreciate the socio-religious culture of the South, simply because it has similar values of which I hold dear to me.

      I am absolutely fixin on becoming a good wife for him, so when I do become a homemaker, I will be able to serve him, cook for him nicely, clean for him, and serve him as Krishna Himself. If I can’t make a peach pie and biscuits with all the fixins by the time I get married to him, I would be utterly ashamed, lol. My cooking is okay, but I have no knowledge of Southern cooking whatsoever. I also want to have a child one day, and I have already decided to take his name and carry his babies! ;)

      So think of what stereotype to make of this Filipino-Canadian gay submissive homemaking-type male who practices Krishna consciousness, with a sweet and strong white Southern gentleman who is also a devotee of Krishna… gay, interracial, religious and conservative, and altogether wonderful!

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  15. katie Says:

    @ Amelia. Lighten up a little eh? I’m southern and I thought it was a really cute light-heartled little blog post. And no offense but I could tell that you are young before you mentioned your age. You get offended way too easily. And honestly I have always noticed when traveling from south to north and then back south again that the men in general start getting more attractive. But they’re a certain type and it’s my opinion. I like me the manly men lol.

  16. katie Says:

    @ Kevin. I happen to be a fine southern cook. If you need any recipes just give a shoutout.

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