The Art of Being All Girl: a fascinating read

I’ve been aware of my struggles with feeling free to be as girly as I wanna be for some time.  In some ways, I’m even confused about what it means to be feminine!

Being girly, not boy-ly (manly), and acting appropriately is my biggest problem lately!

What’s made matters worse is that I’ve been spending a lot of time at work. At work I’m usually determined and serious, and in addition am surrounded by unfeminine women.

I need to work on how to  to switch gears to girly mode quickly…! Any suggestions out there?  Maybe if unpin my hair bun and let my locks loose, take off the glasses and loosen that business jacket as I walk out the door? Hee hee….

bipasha-basu-wallpaper31 bipasha-hot-wallpaper10 ————–>bipasha-basu3

From business to babe-ness!

I recently remembered a book I had looked at when I was younger about this very topic: Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin.

Although the title is very cheesy and sounds like it’s for old ladies, the book is pretty good. And fortunately there are free versions available from Harvard Open Press and also Zealand Book House.

Some of the secrets it shares (some I have paraphrased):

  • Admire His Masculine Qualities. Never Wound his Sensitive Pride (Seems very important, a girl shouldn’t put men down because it emasculates them! Especially when a guy really does mess up, she shouldn’t put him down… I personally have learned to either ask questions when I see a potential problem to draw the guy’s attention to it, or I just let the guy take a risk and if it doesn’t work I let it go… and ignoring the failure is done deliberately! )
  • Make the Most of Your Hair, Your Figure and your Health (a.k.a. look as hot as possible, duh this is the #1 mandatory and universal criterion for any girl to get a guy to like her)
  • Femininity Delights a Man and Depending on Him Arouses His Love (Seems very true; men seem to commit to women they feel responsible for and proud to feel responsible for)
  • Your Husband’s Role is Lead You and Provide for You.  Allow Him to Do It. (For real!  Even for not-yet-husbands it seems so important to just let them lead when they do things for a girl, like opening doors, getting the car in the rain, looking up directions, picking out good places to go, etc.)
  • Men deeply admire inner serenity and goodness in their wives. Your husband wants you to be a better
    person than himself. (By this I think the books means feminine good qualities like sensitivity to people’s feelings, remembering others and being thoughtful like getting Grandma her favorite flowers, etc.  Many men also think not using cusswords, not being vulgar, not being gross, not being dirty, etc. are things that make a woman girly and make girliness good.)
  • To Obtain Your Needs From Your Man, Ask as a Young Girl Asks Her Father (Cool point, I always try do this and it seems to work so well!  Like if i want something i’ll ask it more like a question, like “Is the beach really fun this time of year?” Or I will just say “I feel kinda cold” rather than command “Turn down the a/c”.  I’m not so great implementing this idea, so it will be interesting to read about this)
  • Handle Anger in a Child-Like Way. Express it in a feminine, childlike way that allows him to feel manly and protective. (Seems very effective.  When I do this guys are usually charmed and very open to actually listening to what’s bothering me rather than being scared about being in the doghouse or something.  Some of the guys even say later “You’re so cute when you’re mad.” And they seem so happy to have made me smile again by fixing the problem 🙂)
  • Comfort him tenderly when he is tired or discouraged. Appreciate the heavy responsibility a man carries. Use the great power of sympathy. (I’m pretty sure most men like a girl who seems to appreciate what it means to be a man. They also like girls to have that feminine sweetness that’s not done in a way that puts the other down.  It’s a sort of tenderness without mothering which is hard to do.)

I am so excited to read through this book!  I will try to post some of my thoughts and experiments as I apply its lessons more consciously.  I think I do some of the above things already, but definitely need some reminders and guidance since I doubt I’m doing them consistently or correctly!

Useful resources for studying Fascinating Womanhood:

Too much to read, too little time! 🙂

10 Responses to “The Art of Being All Girl: a fascinating read”

  1. Anon :) Says:

    ””””””””””””””Men deeply admire inner serenity and goodness in their wives. Your husband wants you to be a better
    person than himself. (By this I think the books means feminine good qualities like sensitivity to people’s feelings, remembering others and being thoughtful like getting Grandma her favorite flowers, etc. Many men also think not using cusswords, not being vulgar, not being gross, not being dirty, etc. are things that make a woman girly and make girliness good.) ””””””””””””””””””””””””

    A lot of times the little things a woman may do are things you remember about them for life. I was about to kill a giant cockroach (yea exactly) and my woman said please don’t kill it as it also likes to go here or there and live its life. Man I will always remember her saying that so simple so freaking cute and pure.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Wow, such caring for all life! She’s a nobler soul than most of us would be with a bug 🙂

    • Default User Says:

      Hey Anon 🙂

      Are you posting from your usual location, or did the helo finally arrive?
      😉

  2. Default User Says:

    Hi there Lovely,

    I am not feeling inspired today, so I have nothing to add for now. Just wanted to say hello though.

  3. Firepower Says:

    if you looked like Bipasha, i’d let you lounge breezily, daintily around the couch for a little while. But you’d still better cook dinner on time

  4. Please pardon the dust… it’s time to clean house! « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] reading Fascinating Girl!  It’s great.  Some of the advice is a little cheesy, and seems to involve giving too much […]

  5. Gunslingergregi Says:

    yup it arrived he he he

  6. Gunslingergregi Says:

    Whats up lovely nice to see you found some love. Those are the best times.

  7. Luck in love and life: wishing to be prettier, younger, smarter, and more fortunate « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] just can’t figure out how to act with him. Fascinating Girl advises building a man up when when he expresses that he feels discouraged.  It also mentions that […]

  8. Some of My Favorite Posts of 2008 « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] The Art of Being All Girl: A Fascination Read – Fascinating Womanhood and Fascinating Girl are the GirlGame books that have the biggest impact on my thinking this past year.  It may be a bit strong on the complete submission to his will side (ie., if your man is about to make terrible mistake, instead of questioning his authority pray to God that something else intervenes). But highly valuable nonetheless, and dare I say empowering – it’s OK to be feminine and traditional.  Don’t let feminist haters make you think otherwise. […]

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