Boy tests: how to pass

Guys will test girls a lot of times, particularly when they are first getting to know a girl.

These tests can vary, but I see them as trying to figure out a few things:

  • Is this a fun time girl or a potential wife girl?
  • Is this girl after my money or trying to use me?
  • How far can I get this girl to go? How much can I control her?
  • Is this girl the type who will be clingy, moody or emasculate me?
  • Is this girl going to be the type who plays annoying games, like being busy all the time and not returning my calls?

Basically, a guy can test a girl about a variety of things in a variety of ways. It will be hard to always figure out when he is testing, because sometimes the tests are quite obvious while other times they are not so blatant.

Perception is just as important, if not more important, than the reality.  It would be foolish to ignore how people interpret certain behaviors and actions!

Also, in my opinion many girls make the mistake of becoming gravely offended by some of the “tests” guys give to them.  In the beginning, I think it’s best to treat some tests just as that: tests he’s using to screen out girls he wants to spend his resources (time, effort and money) from those he does not want to invest in.

A confident girl should have no fear about passing!  And the less seriously she takes the test, and the less offended she is by the test in general, the more she will pass.  And as she passes, he may start to see her as something special.

Some different tests and how to pass:

  • Is this a fun time girl or a potential wife girl?
  • This is often a screen for promiscuity, character, and of course compatibility.
  • PASSING:  a girl who is genuinely good and has not been promiscuous should be careful to not give the impression that she has.  Speaking from personal experience, not doing anything doesn’t mean that the curiosity or even mm… desires (hehe) don’t exist.  Book knowledge can be confused for actual experience sometimes, so it’s better to not show a lot of awareness if at all.  It may be better for a girl to block out her knowledge of crude jokes, certain slang terms, and other practices until her real nature comes to light.  Also, holding her ground about not doing physical things with a guy and being completely natural about it is important too.
  • PASSING: girl who is promiscuous should probably be very, very careful to let this information come to light.  I won’t comment on whether she should be upfront about her past her not.
  • PASSING: good character is something that shows in the details.  You can fake good character for the short-term but not the long-term. If a girl is not generous, honest, caring, and the like, she needs to work on that first.  She can end up failing the character test by: 1) mentioning how she lied at work/lied on her taxes/lied to people she cares about, or 2) doing dishonest things like not returning extra change given to her by a cashier/stealing things that are not hers/acting entitled
  • Is this girl after my money or trying to use me?
  • This is often a big test in the beginning.
  • PASSING: This is controversial, but I recommend a girl always sweetly offer to pay or contribute to the expenses of things. It’s hard to do this in a way that’s not a little emasculating (to some guys, at least). I recommend asking quietly when the waiter/vendor is out of earshot, “How much should I give?”  That way the girl is letting the guy lead, not putting him in a position to seem bad in front of others, and the like.  If the guy takes too much money, the girl should be grateful because she found a cheapo early and can decide whether he’s worth that or not. By the way, if asked in the way I’ve mentioned above by a feminine, sweet girl, many guys will say, “No no, don’t worry about it.” I’ve never seen a guy be so bad as to say, “You should pay all of it.”  Although if a guy did in the very beginning, I wouldn’t become all mad and would probably just laugh and try to make a joke of it.  Maybe even disappear to the restroom for a loooong time right then.  I would see it as he’s trying to match wits with me, and I would try to outwit him but in a fun, sweet, and sexy way.
  • PASSING: in the beginning and even later on, a smart girl will wait for the guy to offer her help or different things.  Asking him for anything will probably send up quite a few flags.  If a guy likes a girl, and she admires his good qualities and talents, it seems like he is more than happy to use his expertise and/or resources to help her out and will go ahead and offer to do so.   She just shouldn’t ask…
  • How far can I get this girl to go? How much can I control her?
  • This is often a screen for self-respect, dignity, and again promiscuity.
  • PASSING: a girl who tolerates bad behavior will be seen as desperate, lacking in self respect, and just generally low value.  If a guy is truly rude to a girl, like making promises he doesn’t keep, or flaking on her, asking her out last minute, etc., she needs to show self-respect and JUST SAY NO.  She needs to treat a potential love interest the way she would treat any other person, which is to sweetly say sorry and/or no to an unreasonable demand.  The ruder the request, the more she needs to be firm.  Amazingly, there are some girls who don’t get this and will respond to last-minute date requests from a new guy, will tolerate a guy booking her to go out but then never actually taking her out, etc.  Any girl could take this too far and go into princess syndrome, but if a guy is truly being rude she needs to trust her gut, and without putting him down or being all angry about it, she needs to sweetly say no and be firm.  Good guys will realize they weren’t being very cool and will often modify their behavior.  This is a good way to screen for guys that are serious about a girl or not as well.
  • PASSING: a guy will try to push a girl to be physical again and again, and put her in situations to be that way.  She needs to sweetly just come up with excuses to not go to his place, for example, or just sweetly say no to the physical stuff.  If she’s not comfortable with doing something, she needs to sweetly say no.
  • Is this girl the type who will give be clingy, moody or emasculate me?
  • This goes along with guys doing slightly disrespectful and/or rude things, along with seeing how a girl acts with a guy in front of others (including his friends and family), and also how she acts during different parts of the week.
  • PASSING:  there’s a reason that relationship advice for women always talk about not making the first move, not calling a guy a lot, waiting for him to ask her out, and generally letting the man lead with progressing things along.  More often than not, a girl will seem desperate, clingy and moody if she initiates ANYTHING in the beginning or after any major milestone.  It’s better for girls to show “receptive interest,” and be enthusiastic about his ideas and suggestions but not take the lead with them. Even if it’s excruciating, girls should wait for him to call, suggest the next date, express how much he likes her, etc.
  • PASSING: if a girl is having a bad day, it’s general good manners to not dump all her issues on others.  Whether it’s a friend, trusted confident, or an acquiantance, everyone needs to be aware of when to really reach out to others with deep problems and when to be self-sufficient and deal with them on their own.  This is especially important in the beginning with a guy.  Most guys want sunshine, and sparkle, and general fun with a girl they are first getting to know.  Sure, later it’s only human to show a bit more of the sensitive and serious side.  But in the beginning it’s too much too soon.  Men don’t have as much of a capacity for emotional highs and lows as women do.  There is a possible exception case to my advice, and that is the moody/depressed/negative/pessimistic man. He may find a girl who is too happy to be unreal, and boring. Smart girls are observant and know to adapt to the situation as needed.
  • Is this girl going to be the type who plays annoying games, like being busy all the time and not returning my calls?
  • PASSING: don’t make things difficult in the beginning.  Yes, the guy should approach you first.  Yes, the guy should suggest you go out.  Yes, he should call and suggest you meet up.  It’s important to be friendly and sweet, without seeming like a guy has never talked to you before or something. (If you’re sufficiently hot, he probably won’t think that though.)  When the guy finally calls, some girls make the mistake of making it too difficult to just set up a first meeting.  A girl shouldn’t drop everything and go super out of her way to meet the guy, but for that first meeting she shouldn’t be too challenging either.  It’s more important to pace things, like wait a day to call him back, and keep the date to just a few hours, and things like that.  That will be more of a fun challenge than making him do a guessing game for a free spot in her schedule.

There are plenty of other tests guys do, like:

  • Is she intelligent too or just a pretty face?
  • Some guys don’t care about this, but many do because some guys care a lot about how the woman they’re with reflects on them when around others.
  • PASSING: Being too serious and intellectual is not very sexy, especially in the typical masuline American way that many women follow.  A girl should speak in short sentences, and softly but firmly when expressing her ideas.  She should not imply that a man does not know something or is less knowledgeable than her, and she shouldn’t be a know-it-all.  If a girl is too soft and fun, a guy may try to mention something to test if she understands what he’s talking about.  If she does, without seeming like she’s insecure and trying to one-up she can make a little remark back about it.  If she doesn’t know about it, no worries: she can give him a chance to share his intelligence and ask him, “Oh, what’s that?” And then ask some fairly smart follow-up questions.
  • CAUTION: in an attempt to prove her intelligence, some girls will talk a lot about their career and school successes.  I think a girl in a high-powered career should really, really downplay what she does until things are a bit more established.  It’s amazing to me that some girls don’t have the basic sense to know that a woman who acts all powerful and like a know-it-all b*llbuster is a turn-off to most masculine men.
  • Is she a responsible adult woman or a spoiled immature little girl?
  • Men like women who need them, but also like women who don’t need them.  It’s a conundrum, yes. 🙂
  • PASSING: A woman should be self-sufficient without seeming like she is too independent.  This is tough to do.  One way is if she just lives her life but doesn’t talk too much about all the independent things she does, like complete her own taxes, change her own oil, etc.  Some things are better left unsaid or downplayed.  She can also show her reliance on others for getting things done, to show she is self-sufficient but does depend on help from her dad, her brothers, her college (male) friend, etc.
  • Is she in marriage and baby-making mode?
  • I think the guy is mainly trying to see if a girl is desperate.  Most men want to feel like a girl wants him for the person who is, not just for what he can provide (although what a man can provide is tied to who he is too).  No man wants to feel used as just as a baby daddy or a bank account.
  • PASSING: a girl absolutely should not talk about something as serious as her search for the One, or her ticking biological clock, or how she just really wants to get married.  All of these things are instant male repellant.  Even if a guy will seem initially cool, he will feel that urge to bolt.  It’s better for a girl to be coy about her intentions, and about marriage and kids says, “Sure, someday,” or try to not answer clearly.  She needs to show self-respect for herself and that she’s not so desperate that he can drag her along with the promise of potential marriage, and also that she will value him for HIM, not for his ability to fill this role of “husband.”

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