How to get asked out more: look pretty, seem hot, and be approachable

I’m writing this post more as advice for myself, but it may be helpful to others too.

Sometimes people ask me, “How do you always have so many guys asking you out?”

I’m definitely no expert on this. I’m not a stunning beauty or enchantress either. The hottest girls I know have an even easier time than me.

When I look good, in terms of being dressed in something I look good in and being well groomed from head to toe, I emanate a different energy. Sure, there are the times I’m in some sweats and the boys can’t keep talking to me too. But if I dress hot it seems to be easier to act feminine and feel confident enough to be open to others too.

What’s most important for me, I think, is my openness in public. The way I would describe this is whether I am in closed mode where I am in my own world and generally ignore the people around me, or am I in open mode where I am aware of people around me and naturally make eye contact with them.

When I’m closed, I’ll feel (or peek at) a guy’s eyes on me and will literally run or avoid him. I’ve been in closed mode a lot lately because I’ve been seeing someone and tend to spend a lot of mental energy on things related to him (what will I wear the next time I see him, what should I say when he calls, am I being too easy, wow it was so fun when he xyz, etc. heehee). When I’m out and about doing daily errands especially, I’ll be thinking about those items related to him.

I think being in closed mode so much is a bad habit. I need to stop because the guy I’m seeing may not work out (don’t want to talk about it on this blog in case he happens to read, but as of right now we are not exclusive).

In closed mode, I tend to be serious faced and tight lipped.

When I’m in open mode, I’m aware of what’s happening around me and the people around me. But there is good open mode and so-so open mode. Good open mode is when I’m aware of what’s around me, but in a balanced way. It’s sort of like I’m occupied but engaged at the same time. I’m not hawk eyes looking frantically around to see if any guys are checking me out. I’m focused on what’s at hand but casually aware of what else is going on too.

In open mode, I tend to have little smiles, maybe even laugh at funny things I see without being self-conscious of looking funny too.

The so-so open mode is something I’ve observed in friends. A girl friend of mine has started to improve how she dresses and her demeanor in order to attract a man. We were hanging out and although she and I were talking, her eyes were always darting around to see if anyone was checking her out. If a guy approached, her head would spring up to see who it was .0001 seconds too quickly. Also, she is a bit overweight and was wearing something revealing; nothing wrong with that, but there was incongruence about her get-up. It was interesting to observe.

I need to get out of closed mode and into good open mode again! This is what I’m going to do:
– Take a few deep breaths before going into a public situation
– Be aware of what’s happening around me while being focused on what I’m doing
– Look at things of interest around me following my natural curiosity and interest
– And of course, look good: I need to get rid of the clothes that fit me poorly, or that don’t look that stylish any more, and all of that

7 Responses to “How to get asked out more: look pretty, seem hot, and be approachable”

  1. aoefe Says:

    Clothes make the man they say and they do. They most certainly make the woman. Looking good is number one and looking good will allow you to feel good and feeling good will be attractive to anyone men or women. Never go out looking anything but your best that goes for casual or dressy. It becomes a habit and one you can’t break later on. Looking good is something we owe ourselves, our partner or our future mate. It sounds shallow but in fact it supports our inner confidence and inner beauty too. You are what you present. You are also what you eat. 🙂

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Thanks for the comment! Totally agree! For me, how I dress has a BIG effect on my mood and how I carry myself.

      I really admire women (and men!) in Italy and France, and how well dressed and groomed they are at all times.

  2. ec Says:

    “Open mode” roughly equates to self-confidence, and is certainly very attractive. When I consider some of the girls I’ve been attracted to, I find that many times (much) less physical beauty + open > more physical beauty but not very open. It’s at least a force multiplier, and it might even mean more than actual level of physical beauty. Just my .02

  3. Tashina Cabatu Says:

    Good internet site! I thoroughly enjoyed your content …very nicely written.

  4. Nayeli Says:

    im pretty and ugly at the saame time..i dont care what other people say about me If they say im pretty i say thank you nd if they say im ugly i say for you im ugly but for other people im pretty =) i alway listen to my self.. people want to be lk u hot and pretty

  5. Says:…

    […]How to get asked out more: look pretty, seem hot, and be approachable « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty[…]…

  6. Olivia Says:

    Just Be yourself! Simple. If they don’t like you for who you are, well then they dont:)

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