Fashionable Flats vs. Sexy Heels (part 1)

Most women love shoes.  The right pair of shoes can help transform a woman’s walk, mood, posture, and perfect her outfit.

Traditionally, men are supposed to be bigger than women:  taller and with a bigger build.

Men definitely don’t like fat women, but guess what? They usually don’t like women who are much bigger than them either.  It’s not as simple as figuring out who is taller or heavier, but men like to feel like they are bigger than their girl.  They want to feel like they can protect a girl from bad guys and animals, and not the other way around!

Masculinity tends to be tied to height and build.  This is why guys spend so much time trying to bulk up and get big.  Or, if they are not tall, they love to work hard to become rich and throw their money and power in tall guys’ faces.

Many successful and/or otherwise attractive men tend to not be super tall.* (*There are many very tall successful men too.)

This can be a challenge for a girl who is fairly blessed with height, or who just happens to be with a guy who is her little “napoleon” conqueror.

Girls known for being tall and also super hot:

  • Supermodels or high-end world class models
  • International level beauty pageant contestants and winners (check out Miss Universe and Miss World contestants, especially the ones from Venezuela and Puerto Rico and even from India)
  • Daughters of successful men* (there are studies where taller men tend to be better paid; the height just makes them look like leaders perhaps?)

The super hot tall girls all tend to have very small frames as well, which helps make them still look feminine rather than manly.

So what happens when tall beautiful girls and successful less-tall guys get together?

Carla Bruni is a former supermodel and now the wife of the Prime Minister of France, Nicolas Sarkozy.

Rather than taking the rockstar + model girlfriend route of not caring about the the height difference, Carla and Nicolas have tried to minimize it (“Why Carla Bruni is looking a bit down at heel“, “Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni: Why no heels?“)

What Carla seems to be doing:

  • She wears flats or very low-heeled shoes, that are as fashionable and feminine as possible (if they can’t be sexy they can still be cute and femmy)
  • She’s very slim (supermodel!), so she doesn’t need heels to skinny her up and elongate her
  • She wears clothes that are very feminine and with a sexy cut, so that she still looks sensual and hot:

  • She also makes sexy poses and expressions, perhaps a bit more so than normal.  Being sexy vs. slutty is all about balance
  • She also tries to position herself so that she seems shorter at times, without looking slouchy or odd.  This includes putting herself on the bottom part of a sloping hill in relation to her man:

But Heels Are Just Plain Sexier!

So here is a dilemma: heels are just plain sexier.  The shoes are more stylish, more girly looking, and they do the following to a girl: push out her butt, elongate her legs, and force her to stick out her chest.

Even a frumpy boyfriend jacket outfit looks sexy with some heels (and make-up and hair)

Why oh why can’t these be 2 inch heels rather than 5 inch ones?

So what’s a girl to do?

I’m still figuring this out, but I’ll leave you with a few more ideas:

  • If you already have a man:
  • Adjust your heel heights accordingly.  When going out during the day, rock the flats and low heels.
  • In the evenings, if you want to keep the shoes as low as possible you’ll need to do a lot of shopping beforehand to find something that will be appropriate.  Check out and for a large selection of shoes (unfortunately the high-end shoes are even worse for finding sexy flats, although you can stalk Carla Bruni articles to find out what she gets).  I’ve found that the more formal evening shoes with low heels tend to be sandal slides.  I’m not crazy for slides, but that’s what tends to be available for some reason.

It’s not as obvious here that her heels made her taller, you can google for more pictures where she’s obviously taller or shorter

  • If you don’t mind being a little taller than him, it may work better to do that in the evenings or n formal occassions.  The main thing is that you must always look smaller and more girly than him, despite being taller.  I wouldn’t try to be more than an inch or so taller, in any case.  And when you are standing with him, practice ways to temporarily get shorter (sticking out your hip, slouching from the hips, etc.) while still looking elegant. In pictures definitely try to bend your knees slightly so you don’t look like the giant chick next to him.
  • If you are trying to meet a man:
  • This is the risk zone.  Many guys who are not that tall are used to many women being taller than than them.  Some don’t mind a taller woman if she is really hot, but some do mind.
  • I would tend to wear as low of a heel as possible if you are a fairly tall girl.  This opens up so many more options in terms of guys.  It is tough to get hot and sexy shoes that are with heels less than 4 inches, but you need to do a lot of shopping and research.  And follow Carla Bruni’s example and sex it up in the other parts of your look (outfit, hair, expressions, etc.).
  • If you are a short girl:
  • None of this post applies to you!  Get outta here, lucky girl! You can wear all the sexy heels with no issues. 🙂

13 Responses to “Fashionable Flats vs. Sexy Heels (part 1)”

  1. PMS Says:

    “Men definitely don’t like fat women”…………….

    Yeah, and that’s why all the BBW sites had to be pulled down recently, there was no traffic and no hits.


    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      I had to look up BBW… I guess it’s for fatty fetishists.

      First of all, with “fatness” there is a bit of subjectivity… some guys will call a girl in the fat “border” zone as voluptuous or thick, others will call her fat. The overwhelming majority of the time a guy is calling a girl fat, it is mean in a bad way.

      Second, approx. website counts (as one quick metric of popularity of certain body types)
      – Sites for people who like “BBWs”: 10,000
      – Sites for people who like thin and slim people: 10000000000000000000000000000000000

  2. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    Note to everyone: what’s up with all the haters coming here and commenting lately?

    It’s one thing to bring up flaws in my logic, put forward arguments or present alternative views.

    It’s another to throw out sarcastic one-liners and passive-aggressive insults.

    If my views are so clearly antithetical to your own, why are some of you all coming here?

    If you disagree so strongly with my basic premises, it’s time for you to go…shooo… get out.

    Go find sites which support your views, or come back to me with comments that can actually be discussed.

    Everyone is welcome to read here and comment… and everyone has the right to take or leave the advice and ideas I present.

    In fact, if you choose to not take my advice, cheers… if you are lookswise a 6/7/8 all the better for me I suppose. 🙂

    As long as we are all happy, whatever choices or paths we all take doesn’t matter. It’s all good, we should all do what’s right of each of us.

    But people who are sarcastic or passive aggressive tend to indicate a dissatisfaction or unhappiness… I avoid those types in real life because they tend to bring you down, and I’d prefer to avoid those types online too. K thanx

  3. PMS Says:

    LSB, I’m betting you’ve never associated yourself much with African Americans, am I right?

    Generally speaking, this “skinny craze” in white-normative. And yet, more and more white people are becoming obese. Maybe that has something to do with it – the rare becoming the desired because of its rarity?

  4. PMS Says:

    Are you prejudiced against black people as well?

    • Say no to fat Says:

      You are psychotic!, how does wanting to be skinny suddenly transfer to being prejudice???? This is why I personally cannot stand black people!!! You people try to make everything about you!!! We like being skinny, yep we must be racist. We like pizza….must be racist. They like rock music…..obviously racist. That’s what you people sound like! Like wtf is wrong with you. I was never racist until I heard black people turn every comment white people make into a racist comment, so now I am racist! Thank yourselves for people’s racism. This poor blogger never said anything racist and you somehow found a way to make it because she’s prejudice against black people! There are fat people of every race and skinny people of every race. She just doesn’t want to look fat.

  5. Alex Says:

    There is one, and only one, purpose for high heels. Men love the way they make your butts jiggle when you walk.

  6. Hope Says:

    I thought heels made a girl’s legs look longer, hence the “leg men” like them?

  7. Doug1 Says:


    Generally speaking, this “skinny craze” in white-normative. And yet, more and more white people are becoming obese. Maybe that has something to do with it – the rare becoming the desired because of its rarity?

    No it isn’t. Generally speaking it’s normative of everywhere in the world, at least among the elites, except to some extent in West Africa. Oh sure a few tribes here and there have a cultural thing for fat – especially when they’re typically plagued by not getting enough to eat. Still a small minorities of people that feel that way. Big woop.

    As for Americans getting fatter, you’re right. And all the men in the country, almost, except African Americans to a large extent, HATE it in women. It makes for a smaller pool that the upper half in attractiveness men want to even settle for dating, much less really want to. Again except for AAs. Peasant class Mexcians also care less, but they do tend to care as we go up the SES scale, and other Latin Americans certainly tend to.

  8. Doug1 Says:

    Heels make a woman’s legs look both longer and more muscled. The tend to trust out her but and her chest both. They’re all kinds of sexy good.

    But no it’s not good for a girl to tower over a guy.

    Course not many do in even in real high heels when the guy’s 6’3.

  9. Doug1 Says:

    Heels make a woman’s legs look both longer and more muscled. They tend to thrust out her butt and her chest both. They’re all kinds of sexy good.

    But no it’s not good for a girl to tower over a guy.

    Course not many do in even real high heels when the guy’s 6′3.

  10. Gunslingergregi Says:

    ”””””””’PMS Says:

    August 31, 2009 at 5:48 pm | Reply
    Are you prejudiced against black people as well?”””””””””

    Dam yo pulling race card to fast. Trying to be Obama? Anyway.

  11. Gunslingergregi Says:

    I don’t know on shoe thing I usually end up long term with woman who are just below eye level on me in bare feet. I wear boots normally so yea maybe some three inch heals make us about even.

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