The Less You See Him, the More Phone Games to Play

Making things work when a girl won’t be seeing a guy in person often… is hard.

Whether the long-distance thing is permanent or just temporary, keeping both parties happy requires a mental shift.

A friend of mine is a serial long-distance dater, and has been pretty successful with keeping good relationships with it.  (She tends to end up in these situations because she usually dates older successful guys in big cities, including internationally.  She started this habit in college and pretty much continued when she got a job in the same area after graduation; she doesn’t have rich parents who can fund her moving to NYC or London, etc.  More to her story but will stop there for now…)

One of the cool things she does, that I also do, are Phone Games.

Staying in touch during a long-distance relationship usually involves plenty of phone-talking, texting (sexting? yikes), Facebooking, Twittering, e-mailing, IMing and of course travel planning. 😉

Just like when you’re seeing someone face-to-face, when you’re doing the remote thing, you should have fun with each other.

Unfortunately there is no replacement to in-person flirting, but you can do your best with the alternatives.

Sometimes there is a limit to how fun it is to discuss current events, share how your day went, gossip about people you know and share ideas.  Sometimes you realize you’ve talked about everything possible and it’s sort of getting boring.

This is where Phone Games can come in.  They are little games you play on the phone with each other that involve creativity, building imagery, and of course, flirtation too (if you do them right).

• “How we met”: this is where you make up a story about how you met.  The story can tease the other person about fun or cool traits. (Girls should do this without emasculating of course.).  For example, my Guy made up a story about how I came up to him (yeah right), and that he rejected my offer to buy him a drink… but when I turned to walk away, he saw my badonkadonk booty and decided he needed to get on that ASAP and came running back! lollll
• I went to the store and I…”:  this is where you name a store and talk about what you bought.  Could be the grocery store, could be the lingerie store, could be the sports store.   If you chose the lingerie store, this can be a FUN opportunity to create some sexy imagery in his mind (at the risk of giving him blue b**ls, oops)
• The singing game:  Indian people have this singing game, antakshri.  It involves singing part of a song, and the next person has to sing a starting with the last letter of what you just sang (letters are more like sounds in most Indic languages).  My English-ized version involves using the last word or letter.  It’s silly and not the same as the Indian one, but if you both like to sing it can be funny… you can add flourishes to it like the songs have to be about hooking up, country songs, songs by European singers, etc.
• “At my wedding…”:  just kidding!  Heck no, not recommended. Unless a girl wants to freak him the f* out. If you’re already engaged, maybeeee you can talk about your wedding night or the honeymoon 😉 (Phone seduction style)

Reggaeton guys have so much swagger… amazing how an average guy is like 500% more fun to look at when acts a little thuggish, like in this video.   It also helps though that Yandel looks like a Nuyorican Jay Sean. hehe 😉

Final Thoughts

Girly Girl left a great comment on GirlGame a while ago about making “long-term long-distance” work in general.

If a girl doesn’t want to end up as one of a guy’s “hos in different areas codes,” like a Tiger Woods mistress, there needs to be a commitment, including one of eventually being in the same city.   It’s amazing to me to observe the number of men who are seeing multiple women in different cities.  How the girls allow it, I don’t know other than to think these guys have some seriously mad travel Game going on.  Crazy…

In addition, how you interact “verbally” becomes very important when you don’t see each other in person.  If you have differences that only work out because your in-person attraction is very strong, you need to change up your game to make it work in the absencce of that visual, olfactory and tactile stimulation.  Knowing how to talk, from being a good listener to having a sexy voice, can make all the difference.

Tip:  some of the best advice I’ve heard about talking on the phone, for girls, is about charmingly cute or sensual imagery.  Describing the pretty icicles outside your window, the cinammon loaf cake you’re baking, the almond oil you’re smoothing onto your legs, the lingerie you splurged on from La Perla … all great details to go ahead and share.  PUAs do similar things I believe, if I find a good reference on Roissy I will link to it.

I have more thoughts on all of these things, but will stop here for now. 🙂

xoxo LSB

Tags: conversation, flirting, GirlGame, long-distance relationship, long-term relationship, phone game, seduction, sexting, telephone