Missing the Playette but Not Missing the Game

It’s interesting when you go from single, to not really single except legally … and soon completely not single (you know…dating, engagement, marriage).

I’ve been on this journey of becoming the best girl I can possibly be, in every way.

I am so blessed to say that my knowledge of how things in life work has expanded so incredibly much.  And good things have happened for me too!  Yay!!  I am soooo lucky. 🙂

Pimpette, playette... isn't it all about hustling yourself?

Something funny happens with success sometimes, though.  With my good experiences and ever-increasing understanding, sometimes I feel like climbing that next mountain.

It’s a craving for the next challenge, to push my mind and thinking and self-awareness to levels I never thought possible!

  • How hard would it be to get a marriage proposal out of a pro. athlete?  Considering these guys have soooo many options, few incentives to settle down, and are in the world of easy money and easier women
  • What would it take to turn a player around? You know… a Pick-Up Artist type.  Or a George Clooney type. Is it really as impossible as it seems?  I bet some players have that little 5% of possibility, where they might want to settle down.  How can a girl turn that into 95%?  (The girl with a best chance of conquering one of these guys needs be 21 and under, but it would be a huge challenge to overcome that limitation…)
  • I wonder how hard it would be to infiltrate the Hollywood scene.  Or the jetset scene.  Or the celebutante scene.  A lot of is going to be based on working the GirlGame, as has always been the case.
  • How incredible are the odds, as some in the Gameosphere and Manosphere may calls them, when a girl is not in that ideal under-25 range?  And isn’t a natural born 10?  What can she do to be in that top 5% or 1% of women who score from evolutionary standpoint?
  • What if I had minor microscopic tweaks done (cosmetic enhancements, ya)…  advances have been incredible in this field with the laser amount of precision and subtlety that can be accomplished… especially if you’re not past 35… and have a lot more to work with… results can be completely unoticeable to the untrained human eye… yet give an overall effect of increased femmyness and featural elegance… what does the additional power from jumping a point or two on the beauty scale feel like?

For some reason the intellectual exercise for the above fascinates me. Maybe it comes from spending too much time on Game blogs… along with the good results from “overcoming incredible odds” part too.

It may be the fact that I decided to live a more ethical and moral life, and not use my feminine power to use guys who like me… resulting in less ego-boosts… and that I didn’t participate in the hook-up culture at all and realize that others have more experience than me… which is not a bad thing but makes one wonder… and that I am around too many girls who get off on “playing the player”… and it’s fun to see “rules” turn on their heads… and that I am still adjusting to life revolving around couplehood… may be my fault for not staying independent enough though

When one is coupled up and busy with all the work involved with making things formal (yes I’m avoiding saying the actual words on purpose heehee ;-)).   (No jinx please, being honest above is bad enough!)

One gets a bit lost in Coupledom land, doing coupley things.  Which is a wonderful feeling too, and so incredible and amazing… but requires a lot of responsibility and being an adult too.  You can’t just flake on someone, play little mind games with them, ignore deadlines related to those upcoming big things…

Have to resist the dark side...avracadavra!

Then one goes out and does normal things that single people do more, and hangs out with single friends… and realizes that there is still a lot of interest out there.  Yay!

It was tough out there being in the Game back in the day… but it was fun too 🙂 (I’m saying this as a girl who saves herself from the acts that produce the greatest amount of baggage of all. And yet managed to overcome that incredible odd too…)

But then one realizes that no, this is an illusion a bit.  Maybe all they want is s*x.  Being flirted with, asked out, etc. doesn’t mean they want to marry you.

Yet… as in the past… there is that 5% possibility that s*xy interest might grow to more.

*sigh* However, a girl has to be realistic about two things:

  1. It’s a time game.  Even if it looks fun out there, it’s dangerous that you’ll waste the precious time of your youth
  2. It’s a baggage game too.  With the more experiences you have, the more likely you’ll take on some bad baggage from it:  an overinflated ego, bitterness, etc.

So unless something crazy happens with the path I’m on right now, I’ll have to keep on entertaining myself with case studies in others, and thought exercises only.  🙂

Disclaimer:  I am afraid of making a certain somebody mad with this post, of course.  But in the past he’s been pretty nonplussed by other guys’ interest in me (he knows he’ll win out?).  And I’ve noticed he likes to know the details anyway… probably “just in case?”  I seriously think he’s toooo smart… a good thing (although a little scary thing too).

But in the spirit of being honest with myself so I can stay in reality and keep on going… I need to acknowledge what I think and how I think through it… meaning… realizing the fascination with “outplaying players” is more of an illusion.  It’s like deciding to surf in shark-infested waters for the thrill of it.  You might die and you have to decide if it’s worth the risk.  For me, it’s not really worth it when I think it through *fully*.  Not gonna be an Icarus-ina, nope!

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10 Responses to “Missing the Playette but Not Missing the Game”

  1. Linkage is Good for You: Flush the Burning Out of Your Eyes Edition | In Mala Fide Says:

    […] LovelySexyBeauty – “Missing the Playette But Not Missing the Game” […]

  2. Matt Savage Says:

    I think one of the biggest misconceptions of Game is that all those “players” are in the game for life. However, I feel like a majority of the guys out there really do want to eventually get into a good long term relationship with the right girl, one in which games aren’t played at all, one in which it’s an equal value proposition.

    One thing that Game gives men, is the ability to have options that they otherwise wouldn’t have, thus eventually landing them the right girl for them in the long run. Sure, they have a lot of interest in sex on that journey, but I think the same could be said for high value females as well, it’s about exploring the options on the journey to finding the right long term relationship without having to settle.

  3. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    Great point – thanks for bringing it up. It seems like the playaz for life types overshadow the people who want to have some fun (and explore options like you said) for just a while.

  4. Silas Says:

    The desire for challenge is a good thing, but it’s very important to be careful of what sort of challenges one seeks. As you have mentioned in your disclaimer, swimming in shark-infested waters for a challenge is a dangerous thing. Similarly, with relationships, the desire for challenge is more counter-productive than useful. The point of relationships is love, growth and companionship. While a certain degree of challenge is necessary in the initial courtship phase, beyond that, challenge, drama and issues are more counter-productive than helpful.

    Even in reading this post, though, it seems like you understand that point.

    Also, Matt Savage makes a great point: not all men who learn Game desire to be lifelong players. The ones who are in it for life and continually refine their game are the ones who write about it the most. The rest of us write about Game some, but also retain a highly multi-dimensional approach to life, since our lives aren’t centered around the continual hunt for new girls.

  5. 11minutes Says:

    I am deeply fascinated about how women get enthralled by men of game (and that includes pimps). That photograph says it all.

  6. 11minutes Says:

    I’ll have to keep on entertaining myself with case studies in others, and thought exercises only.

    This whisper will become a blaring voice in your head after a short period of marriage. It is fascinating to see that it starts so early.

  7. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    Thanks for the comments guys.

    11 minutes I hope it doesn’t get louder. Already I am finding it drowned out with worry about him feeling this things eventually… And “must go work out, must take vitamins, must use best skin care on the planet”! Perhaps in the end it all balances out. 🙂

  8. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    Oops was saying worry that *he* will start feeling these things as in “what’s the nexy challenge.” Sort of like Roissy’s graphs on freshness etc. from last week. My mental hamster practically broke the wheel yesterday thinking about that lol

    UPDATE: In case you’re curious, his reaction to when I was acting moody because of all my weird hamster thinking… “Yeah of course I’m gonna leave you eventually…” said ironically… with a delayed “Just kidding. OK so when I see you on…” Nice subject change… He’s a good guy, handles my moodiness well although I need to get rid of being moody at all.

  9. Dean Cortez Says:

    Dean Cortez…

    […]Missing the Playette but Not Missing the Game « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty[…]…

  10. Johnny C Says:

    I find this interesting, I think there are different types of players/playettes. I fell in love with a girl I worked with 2 years ago, only to find out afterwards that she is a massive playette, I cared deeply about her but all she was interested in was playing games, it broke my heart to experience her as this way, because in conversation she made herself out to be very thoughtful, caring and down to earth, a genuine girl basically which is why I fell for her. But it was all just words that she didn’t back up with actions. As I slowly started to see and hear about her true colours, it felt like I’d fallen in love with a mirage. This to me is a true player, not just someone who plays the field, but a deceiver and a bullshitter.
    I think guy players and girl players are very different, a guy player’s main aim is to sleep with a woman, a girl player’s main aim is to get a man to fall in love with her or give her attention to feed her sense of self as a desirable woman.
    As for players changing after a while, I think these are the people who are just playing the field and having fun (or having their cake and eating it), true players have psychological issues which make them behave in such a way. From my experience with the girl I fell for, and another one of my friends who is a player, pride issues seem to be quite pertinent, they seek attention from multiple people to feel significant. This is because they don’t really know who they are or have a strong identity or sense of self, so they create an identity based on external values they have adopted either from society and culture, or from feedback about themselves they’ve had from other people. To maintain this sense of significance they must maintain a reality that reflects this back to themselves, e.g. having multiple people validating them as desirable.
    The girl I fell for was a bit of a chameleon, by which I mean her personality changed depending on who she was with, because she didn’t have a strong sense of self. So she would reflect back elements of the people around her, making them believe she was on the same wavelength as them, and of course the fact that she was beautiful and incredibly sexy meant that many guys fell for her thinking they shared a connection with her. She get’s her validation and feels significant because all these guys are chasing her, but none of it is even real in any sense, they are chasing her own self deception.
    I think also that true players are narcissistic to some degree, from the 2 I know well I can tell you they are both selfish and self absorbed, and I think this helps create a player mindset because there is a lack of caring towards other people when playing their emotions for personal gain.
    I would not consider most people who play the dating game to be true players at all, there will always be an initial phase when meeting someone where both parties are concealing their feelings or intentions, and a lot of the time the relationship will never go past this phase, but that is because we live in an emotionally dishonest society where no one has the courage to be authentic. True players should come with a health warning for those who get involved with them, because just as the saying goes ‘bullies create bullies’, players create players also, because once you’ve been burned in such a cold hearted and cynical way, it becomes easier to withdraw into multiple shallow relationships to limit the chance of being hurt again, whilst still maintaining the thrill of being with someone.
    These are some of my opinions based on what I have learned.
    P.S. I don’t think the author of this article was a true player, and I think having a bit of game is an important part of the dating world. I think the people who consciously learn and use game are the sort of people who will eventually settle down with someone. True players aren’t even always aware of the games they play, it is just a part of their personality and who they are due to their issues, these are the sort of people who have affairs and will only change their ways with deep self wok.

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