Girl Groups and Boy Groups: Vacation Flirtation & More

Whether it’s Spring Break, girl’s trip, a bachelorette party or just another night out… there are situations where a girl will be part of a big pack of girlfriends.

Normally, this would decrease a girl’s chances of being approached successfully, sans c0ckblock.  (And some guys find it overly challenging to b@lls up and approach a big group of girls; most guys are not pure Alpha and are usually a blend of both Alpha and Beta characteristics, so actually do have egos at stake.)

Roissy’s recent post about a fun napkin game he did with some strangers reminded me of an old post on Dating a Banker Anonymous (DABA), about a group of guys and a group of girls successfully hooking up (in the hanging out sense).

Even if DABA is mostly a farce, most girls who understand the power of “hotties in groups” will recognize what was done as effective (and veryyyyyyyy fun).  This is how it’s done.

“We headed to Main Street. There were a few other roving bands of girls, but they were clad in pumps with bare legs and tacky knit dresses.  They had nothing on the snow bunny chic outfits we were donning. “

They made themselves stand out. Location is key; it’s easier to get attention if you are the hottest group of girls there.  If there are many hot girls, say in Vegas or Miami, you have to stand out in other ways.  Subtle differences in dress and demeanor can give that little bit of an edge.  (Remember: it’s all relative in terms of both the mean AND mode of the attractiveness level of all chicks present.)

“First stop, River Horse for dinner.  Promptly after being seated we made sure every other table in the restaurant was acutely aware that we were having more fun than them.”

When a bunch of girls are having fun, they unconsciously send out lots and lots of IOI signals. IOIs are “indicators of interest” signals – the little looks, smiles, laughs with your head back showing your neck, hands dangling near décolletage, hair flipping, straw-stroking, etc.  This type of facial and body language that tells other people, you are open to guys coming to talk to you.  When a bunch of girls have more “closed” body language, most guys are hesitant to approach.

Being closed is often necessary, and is probably the default for most girls who are at a minimum semi-attractive.

But for those times when you are in a “safe” spot, like during the Sundance festival and the guys around you seem OK, it’s time to give off those IOIs.

For the evil playettes, giving off IOIs on purpose is a great way to get your entertainment for the evening sponsored by a kind benefactor. Heheh

“It wasn’t long before a tall lad approached us and announced that he was the chosen representative from the large table replete with enough thirty-something guys to go around.  Said prospects were clearly from Cali.  They were all wearing the L.A. uniform: low-top white sneakers, $250 jeans, over-logoed shirts and trucker hats that should have been retired in 2002. The perfect guys to kick start our transition from finance to media. The L.A. rep invited us to that night’s party at Downstairs. “You came all the way over here to invite us to a party? That’s so sweet! Thanks!” Hair flip, hair flip, chorus of giggles.  Numbers were exchanged.“

The guys made the first move.  They saw hot girls, the girls were having fun. They probably thought, “Hey let’s just go and talk to them, chances of being embarrassingly shot down seem minimal.”

Note how the girls were sweet with the guy, and complimented him on coming over to invite them. However, they didn’t act like they hit the jackpot.  They prolonged the flirtation.

(It’s funny how during vacation, it seems like a lot of people are more open to talking to strangers to get the scoop on where the scene is. What happens in…stays in… too? 😉 )

“As soon as he returned to his table and was safely out of earshot, we drop the cutesy sh*t and begin formulating a strategy. We were a table of 6 uber Type A girls and so far as we were concerned flirting was a competitive sport. Let the games begin.”

Yup.  As much as most guys (particularly MRAs) absolutely DETEST this behavior… girls who aren’t so young as to be completely airy fairy-heads, but in that young adulthood stage, do have an awareness of their value in the marketplace.   And work with it.  And not just in the West, T Ricky Raw had an amazing set of posts about the Myth of the Middle Class Alpha Male. There are numerous articles about Russian women who openly gold-dig, feeding off the popularity for stunning and femmy Eastern European women.

“We quickly reached a consensus that operation Flirt would be initiated via text message. We went with a simple “Order that scallops and butternut squash flan- you won’t regret it”.  We subtly watched the guys huddle up to discuss their response. They countered with ” Thanks for the recommendation, shots are acomin’. “  Okay, our turn.

What to send them? We needed something new, fresh, innovative.Girl #1: “Let’s send over an ice cream sundae??”

Girl #2: ” No, not clever enough.”

Megan: “Hey hey hey, we are brainstorming, there are no bad ideas.”

Laney: “Let’s send 5 sundaes, with sprinkles and sparklers!”

Girl #4: “This is the only idea we have, let’s just go with it.”

Girl #3: “5? This is an expensive joke.” “

I can’t imagine doing something so bold like the first text move or buying the guys stuff first… but the concept is good.

” …“[waiter], what’s going with our sundaes? The joke is only funny if they arrive before the food.”

…[finally] the sundaes made their triumphant appearance.  Cheers, laughter, raised glasses. We had the whole restaurant’s attention. We got another text,  “You guys better be ready for what’s coming over.”  Oh pretty please let it be a house in Malibu and a job that doesn’t involve waking up at 6 am!  A horde of waiters then appeared and presented us each with a sparkler sunk into half a head of iceberg lettuce.  Fits of laughter.  We had been totally outdone- surprising because guys from LA are usually too cool to be funny. Then came the bottles of champagne.Girl #1: “I told you this was a solid investment.”

We sipped our Dom Perignon while the men folk finished their meal.   Then we all jaunted off together to the Sundance scene.”

How fun fun fun… little jokes and flirtations are awesome.  The girls did a little joke prank on them… the guys did it back… everyone goes out and parties and has fun… the girls go back to the guys’ chalet (of course) to hang out in the warm hot tub.  Hot tubs in the snow are soooo much fun… no matter how 80s that sounds. 😉

But Does It Lead to More or Just a Vacation Fling?

I think it could.  You always hear about people meeting over vacation and keeping things going.

I remember hearing about the engagement (now broken) of one of the prettiest girls to ever appear on MTV’s The Real World (Cameran Eubanks) and a guy who at the time was a promising NFL draft pick along with Olympic athlete and Abercrombie model.  They met in Cancun.

Even my last hair stylist was telling me about his last trip to LA, and how he fell in love with this girl (yes, a straight male hair stylist lol).   He met her when he went out partying with her, and it turned out one of the guys in his group had ment one of the girls before (instant “social proof” as the PUAs would see).  My stylist was showing me her pics., and she was stunner.  He was talking about how they’re meeting up in person on the East Coast in a week, and from the glint in his eye he’s clearly looking forward to it.

I also remember a recent bachelorette party, where one of the bridesmaids was what I’d call the typical “desperate for a boyfriend” type.  She’s so sweet and genuine, but really needs to work on her looks and femming it up first (and working her Eastern European background – yes she’s one of those and yet she lost that touch, I’ve met her mom so I know she had the opportunities… so sad!).

Well said girl was attaching way too much importance to a guy she met on the first night we went out during our party trip.  She was pushing us to go to certain clubs based on where he was going to be (of course texting him back and forth whole trip).  Nope, they didn’t really keep in touch past a month after that vacay.

………..

P.S. Is it bad that right now my order of excitement is:  1. honeymoon, 2. bachelorette party, 3. wedding reception, 4. actual wedding, 5. pictures, 6. all the wedding planning stuff. LOL

Tags: bachelorette party, Boy game, flirting, girl game, groups, meeting guys, spring break, vacation