Girl Tips from Boy Game: The Social Proposal

A post over at Roissy’s (“Second Thoughts“) was about how a particular girl announced her recent proposal on Facebook.  The picture and her caption are particularly illustrating.

The commentary on the post ended up giving me an interesting comparison point – how did I “measure up” when I was proposed to?  Have I rid myself of most unfeminine tendencies or do some still linger?

Skimming the comments, I picked out a few that indicated what was “wrong” with what this girl did, and what would’ve been “right” (which I apparently did do :-)):

Mm….looks like I might’ve passed the test back when my proposal came (listing this out for the ladies who read to learn like me)

Omega Man
“The picture should be a cute shot of the two cuddling joyfully just after the proposal.”
Check…yay

Tarl
“I might be more worried if she said nothing about it. If she says nothing, is she not really committed to the idea?”
Check… cool. Thought I was being douchette… but I didn’t want to have to call 134,098 people to share the news when the interwebs can do that for me!

EastPole
“With her reaction being ‘FUN!’, as opposed to “I’m in love!”, or “I’m marrying the best guy ever!”
Check… for the latter type of phrase of course :-) (“Luckiest girl in the universe!!” etc.)

Yay. 🙂
***The way I put up information on my proposal (and love status in general) on social networks isn’t some sort of deliberate attempt at “GirlGame” by the way.***

I don’t try “seem like” a perfect paragon of female love, devotion and sensuality. I try to be a perfect paragon of female love, devotion and sensuality.

Because I’ve worked to balance my feminine instincts and all that is good about girlhood – and am maybe 75% or more good at being fully girly – my natural response seemed to be the “right” one.

Also, the Guy is a pretty good combo. of retired Alpha/character and LTR-minded Alpha/low Alpha/higher Beta/Beta with some Game/etc.

So my passion and feelings for him arise naturally. (In my life I have never had an easier time relating to someone… while never having a harder time controlling myself with someone too, ahahah.)

But… His Temporary Beta-ization  Immediately Post-Proposal
On Roissy’s post about advice to girls, I mentioned an interesting effect that happened post-proposal for me.  It was a surprising validation of what a lot of these Game guys talk about.

Right after the proposal, my hubby-to-be got kind of mushy and emotional talking about how he knew I was the one, he wants to spend his life with me, etc.

It was very touching but also a little out of character for a guy I’d describe as a class clown/smooth talking playboy/ex jock type.

It was… jarring to see him that emotional.  I didn’t know his feelings ran that deep. In fact most of the time I wasn’t that sure he was super into me. I mean, he talked about marriage early on, but who knew if it was just a passing emotion.  What about all those other girls who like him, right?  Was I in over my head – would he forget me soon enough when someone newer (and better? 😦 ) successfully broke the spell I had cast on him (OK fine… imagined I had cast on him)?

I feel awful saying this but I was weirded out, albeit happy, to hear him talk about his love for me. (I feel like I shouldn’t even write it, because it might discourage him or something… but then as time passed I’ve seen that I cherish those rare moments he tells me straight up he cares, haha.)

Animal attraction for him dipped a bit.  As the PUAs say, it seemed to be true that a guy who acts toooo much like a provider who is in total love doesn’t tingle a girl as much.  Although it did warm my heart soooo much, and it was needed for me to feel like he truly meant the proposal… that it wasn’t just a ploy to get me to compromise my morals or something else.

Well… he is an incredibly sharp guy (feel like the sharpest I’ve ever met actually :-)) and very quickly seemed to self adjust… The negs and bossing around like I’m a kid came back and they came back hard! I was a bit jarred again, like “Not surprised, he’s acting like he owns me… Which is to be expected.”. Honestly I don’t mind, it was a bit jarring that’s all.

Over a short amount of time, there was almost like a self-correction in our dynamic and it’s all fine now.  All is well.  I am glad I heard him saw that mushy stuff and every so often part of me wishes he’d say it more – especially when I freak out thinking he doesn’t love me that much any more. (When he’s really laid back about other girls who check him out, or he mentions some celebrity is probably cheating because the guy’s wife is aging badly, or when he mentions that I need to get leaner…aaaah.)

In my insecure moments when I am about to get moody and weird (on him), it helps me to remember
the mushy stuff he has said in the past to calm down…It reminds me that yes, to him I am special and that yes he really does want to marry me of his own free will and choice… it’s not some conspiracy.

Very Important: Acting Like a Dream Wifey Should Start as Soon As Things are Official

Something I maybe instinctively realized after the proposal was that no matter what, I should not refuse him physically (within my preset limits, of course).  Noo… no no. Hahaha.

I wasn’t going to be responsible for giving him any reason to have Roissy-style “Second Thoughts” in any way 😉  My Guy’s eternal bachelor friends can give him all the second thoughts he could wish for – ha!

So after the proposal, I was happy… but my mild shock along with fatigue (long story related to events before the proposal) made me… mm… well… not in the mood for hot passion if you know what I mean. (And dare I say again the aforementioned “Beta” type behavior sort of turned off the tingle faucet… I tried to turn them back on myself, focus on his body and how hot he is… but I was so overwhelmed by the attention from him and others it was hard).

Well I knew that I better suck it up (lol sounds so dirty) and be sexy. Perhaps even give him a little something back by letting him go a touch farther than usual… And focusing on him.

I am one of those extremely rare weirdo girls who is waiting for marriage. This doesn’t mean I primly sit with my hands folded in my lap, fully clothed neck to ankles, and avert my eyes from meeting his. No no. There is, let’s say, “fun,” but it doesn’t go very far at all.  (And really, most of it started when engagement was imminent because somehow I felt more comfy in letting the wall down a little more with him… feel semi-guilty about it, God probably doesn’t love it but we all try our best right.)

So any way, as an upcoming wife I know one of my topmost duties will be to keep my hubby… um… well-fed in several ways.  Hehe.

So if I have any issues (which I never do except for that one time post-proposal basically), I get over it… and do only as much as I am morally comfortable with of course.

Somehow… I feel like it’s very important for me to do that so he knows through my actions he sees that yes, marriage will be good times and I will do all I can to live up to my duties… and even more than that, be Dream Wifey to my Dream Hubby. It’s just an instinct I have, that I should do this.

I hope you enjoyed reading my experience learning for BoyGame blogs and using them to better myself! I think girls have a lot to learn from understanding the male POV, we just have to figure out ways to extract the useful info. out of these PUA places. 🙂

Apologies for the stream of consciousness writing style, better writing is at GirlGame (a lot of great posts on LTR especially from Hope lately).

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses to “Girl Tips from Boy Game: The Social Proposal”

  1. Dalrock Says:

    Something I think I maybe instinctively after the proposal was that no matter what, I should not refuse him physically now.

    Go with this and it will benefit your marriage in ways you can only imagine! Early on in the marriage he is going to have a stronger drive than you will. Sometime later this will probably flip and you want to set the right example…

    More importantly though, there is something just incredibly sexy about “wifely duty” sex. It is hard to explain, but it is both loving and kind of animal at the same time. Maybe because it is so submissive, it is extremely sexy for both sides, and usually after a round or two of this the wife’s desire shoots through the roof. If you aren’t into it, try rubbing his back muscles and touching his hair lovingly when he is about to climax and whisper sweetly in his ear. He’ll be thinking of nothing but you for a long time after.

  2. Dalrock Says:

    “touching his hair” should be “touching his head”

  3. lovelysexybeauty Says:

    @Dalrock

    Thank you so much for the comment, that is very useful advice! Didn’t know wifely duty s*x can be so sexy 🙂 Good… I don’t expect to not be up for it for a loooong time but in case I do have an “off” day… good to know.

  4. Dalrock Says:

    Didn’t know wifely duty s*x can be so sexy

    It seems to be one of the world’s best kept secrets. I’m glad you got the gist of what I was saying, because it is pretty hard to describe. I think it is the powerful contrast compared to the normal experience where both are overcome with lust and desire. This time he’ll be overwhelmed with animal attraction to your immense beauty, and you will be in a place of sweetness, tenderness, love, maybe even some feigned innocence. He’ll probably feel a little embarrassed at not being able to control himself and wait until you are “in the mood”, which will add to the tension/hotness. When he can’t stand it any longer you whisper something sweet and encouraging in his ear, maybe rub his neck/back muscles and blow his mind. Not only is it hot, but it is massively bonding as it will flood his brain with bonding hormones.

    The only downside is he will be ready to go to sleep or maybe get out of bed, and you will be like “Hey, your not done yet cowboy!”. But give him a minute or two and it won’t be a downside any more.

    I don’t expect to not be up for it for a loooong time but in case I do have an “off” day… good to know.

    Good point. You probably just want to file this away for the future. Just remember it on that day when you are frustrated with the small details of daily life and passion is the last thought on your mind, and he won’t stop pawing at you. Take him by the hand and tell him you love him so much that you could never deny yourself to him. You can both thank me later.

  5. Dalrock Says:

    Hi LSB. My wife had some advice she wanted me to pass along, and as I thought about it I realized just how profound (while deceptively simple) it is. One of the things she figured out is that when she is angry or hurt with something I did, she comes and tells me. We quickly talk this stuff out and she instantly feels better. The same goes for situations where she wants something; she tells me. The reason she mentions this is her first instinct is to hold this stuff in, and then nurse a grudge against me because of it. We had no small share of fights caused by just this sort of thing early on in our marriage. My response was to pull away, which really hurt her. As I think about the specific situations she mentioned it made me realize that in a sense what she was talking about were the same basic “sh*t tests” Roissy describes. She used a very interesting term to describe the impulse she has to fight when she talks to me instead of getting pissed off and or trying to provoke me. She said she “feels like she is betraying the sisterhood”, but that she is really so much happier because of it.

    Ok, so far this sounds like pretty standard, simple advice. But I put this together with your comments above about how it felt when your finance became overly Beta emote, and how he used game to bring things back in balance to your relief and your mutual benefit. It made me realize that while unconscious and instinctive, sh*t tests are really damaging to married women, because there is no positive outcome. Either your husband fails the test and you loose, or he passes the test by gaming you, and you loose as well (I’ve never seen a suggested response to a sh*t test which wasn’t somewhat hurtful to the woman). But the good news is if you are aware of the issue you can make a change (which is what game is all about for men).

    I’m not sure if I’m making a lot of sense here. I took another shot at this same idea over on Roissy’s post if you want to see it there. It probably is much clearer there.

    Lastly, I just wanted to state that you really seem to have your act together. I think you and your husband to be are going to have a wonderful marriage/life!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: