Some interesting things in the mate-guarding arena with the hubby. I love him as much as ever.
1. Guys will, of course, hit on me even with my big obvious wedding ring and semi-clingy behavior hanging on to my hubby’s arm (as I like to do, as much as he allows me to hehe). My husband has seen these guys hit on me in front of his eyes, or just heard about it from others (e.g., when he slipped away to the bathroom). His reaction:
“Haha, I like it when people hit on my hot wife.” Or something like that. He just laughs it off.
If I watch him carefully from the corner of my eye, I notice him glare at the perps. sometimes. Establishing authority?
2. One of the most egregious incidents of a guy hitting on me in front of my husband’s face still confuses me to this day.
A group of us were sitting having drinks. A guy of my ethnicity approaches our group. One of his first remarks are to me and another girl, “What are beautiful women like you doing with guys like these?” The other girl, a bold blonde, is obviously more comfortable talking to strangers in bars, and gives a response about how we should ask what girls like us are doing talking to someone like him.
I’m just quiet because I don’t talk to completely random strangers like that, especially in a bar. And it seems like giving a straight answer (“That’s my husband over there, we’re all just relaxing after a long day”) wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
So this guy then asks if I’m Indian, what type, etc. Talks to me a little in my language (on purpose I’m sure, to exclude my hubby along with other friends). I’m a dorkette who gets excited to talk in my native language and can’t help but be friendly – the small talk I know how to make is polite and friendly in my language. Didn’t learn much of the b*tchy curse words.
Everyone else is like, “What are you guys talking about?” Then the guy goes over to my husband who is sitting across from me and asks him something weird, like, “So what do you do? I haven’t seen you over at XYZ hospital. I’m in orthopedics.” Right, the guy I keep on looking at, that I’m probably “with” must be a doctor. The only reason I would marry out is if the guy is a doctor… because I’m probably one too, right? (I wonder to myself if we have another angry “Why Do All Our Women Marry Out” type? The sort of Indian guy who has bad luck with the Indian chicks he likes? Gee I wonder why…)
Hubby starts to seize back control of the situation, and gives a hilarious answer: “I’m a manager. Over down on Collins and XYZ. The McDonalds. If you ever need a job, call me.” Something like that but funnier… everyone laughed..
Then Dr. Dork asks me in our language, “How do you know this guy? ” I reply in English, “We’re married! We actually got married just a few months ago! We had a really fun wedding. Typical desi style.” (I think part of me was trying to turn this into a normal polite conversation with a fellow desi… we Indians can all bond over wedding stories, right?)
The Dr. Dork turns back to my husband and asks, “How’d you get a girl like her?” And my hubby replies, “I got stuck with her man. She trapped me… got pregnant.” We all laugh.
Then the Dr. Dork has the audacity to walk over to me, put his HANDS on my stomach, and start to feel me up. After a brief palpitation he utters, “Hey, you’re not pregnant.” I look at him stunned, uh huh wha…(I don’t know why I didn’t just slap him immediately, I was really out of it and confused about what was happening.)
Dr. Dork must’ve seen the shocked expression on my face and says, “It’s OK, I’m a doctor.” I finally snap to and snap back at him, “This isn’t a hospital room!”
My husband had enough, Dr. Dork had crossed the line. Still seated, my hubby’s tone is completely solemn. “You need to get your hands off of my wife. You come over here, you put your HANDS ON MY WIFE, you’re annoying us. You need to leave NOW.” (Something like that, hubby said it much better but this is the best I can remember from the daze I was in.)
Someone who must be a friend of Dr. Dork now runs over and pulls him away, trying to apologize about him being “really drunk.” The fact that Dr. Dork decided to pull such disrespect in front of not just one man, but an entire crew that included an ex-defensive lineman, made me think maybe he really was drunk. Bold stupidity.
After Dr. Dork was pulled away I immediately went over to my hubby, sat in his lap, snuggled up to him and held on tight. Eeeeks… Everyone was talking about the h*ll was that guy’s problem. Who does that to a man’s WIFE?
I’m still not sure why I froze up when that guy touched me. Why didn’t I slap his hand away? Why didn’t I realize he was being a douche and freeze him out when he first spoke? Why did I try to assume a brotha from tha mothaland would be nice?
Having hubby around always has made me lazy… er, relaxed. I feel so safe, protected,and sexy around him, I think I forget to put the “blocks” up to others.
3. I tried out for something that will give me a bit of media exposure, let’s just say, and got it. Hubby has also gotten involved with this thing, but on a smaller scale, and in a different way than me.
I was planning on going to this activities related to this thing on my own, it’s tedious. But hubby always comes along. Even when he is completely slammed with work. He will spend 5 hours of his day being there to semi-work on it as well. When he is not needed to be there, really. Although he does his own stuff on the side and will be on the phone pretty much the whole time (cell phones silent please, be d*mned).
It’s interesting, and I didn’t really expect it from him… although I kind of did. He’s not obvious about it, and he teases the h*ck out of me around everyone, when it comes up how we are married. He’s the first to say how I look or sound like some sort of animal, etc. He even flirts with the other girls (doing his “thing” in this project, of course). (The others girls are less pretty so I’m not worried, ahaha.)
Getting into this little project thingy reminded me of Roissy’s post on, “Why You Shouldn’t Support Your Girlfriend’s Goals.” I was like WTF when I got this opportunity… it is so like that! I was a little worried about my hubby getting weirded out, or not accepting it… but he never even gave an opinion of whether I should do it. If anything, it will keep him enthralled… what guy doesn’t like a girl who’s a little bit “known” based on her looks, in part? External validation of looks is always a good thing… it’s one thing to say you’re hot, it’s another to have a project/title/etc. to back it up.