About

Another UPDATE:  This blog is such a hot mess!  I really need to redesign it and fix all the trailing text and things.  It’s on my To Do list….

So the big thing to know about me is I’ve perused Game blogs for a few years, but only took a deliberate effort to learn from them the past year (particularly the intelligent ones viz. Roissy and Roosh, and later posts of interest all over the post on In Mala Fide).

I started this blog about a year ago.  It’s filled with my random thoughts and insights as I try to grow as a person, and be as girly as I wanna be.

I’m a part of the GirlGame group blog.  Through that blog I focused even more intensely on self-improvement, with the bonus of being part of a very cool collaborative effort.  When minds come together, the learning increases exponentially.

So where did reading and talking about Game and GirlGame get me?  Well if you listen hard and be a good little girl, it shall come… and the proposal came. 🙂 I am so, so happy and feel so incredibly blessed!!  Big *muah* to my Mister!

Some would call it beating incredible odds (that Mancession/MGTOW/MRA stuff). I would just call it working hard to do better and BE better every day.  And not giving up your dreams, and not letting others pessimism get you down.  But being grounded about what you need to do and what is truly possible… and what may not be as great as it seems on the surface.

If any one takes anything from my little space on the web, I hope that it’s:  take the time to listen to others with an open mind and even more than that, to your own heart… you too might get lucky… or just figure out a way to laugh at the absence of it 🙂

Love and God Bless,

xoxo LSB

………….

UPDATE:  Life is quite hectic for me right now with non-stop travel and doing the things I talk about in this blog. 🙂  Thanks for your patience while waiting for comment approval and responses.

xoxo LSB

…………

This blog will analyze, overanalyze and analyze some more on the fascinating topics of:

  • beauty
  • fashion
  • make-up
  • attraction
  • love.

There’s a fairly known Game movement out there which aims to help men succeed with women. What success means varies of course, from the player wannabe who wants to net notches with the hottest babes possible to the guy who just wants to feel more confident with women to the guy who is completely clueless with women and really just wants a nice girlfriend of wife.

Many of the men who do game are assumed to be nerds and socially inept; many are even considered to have a mild touch of Asperger’s! This always made me wonder, where’s the “Game” for women? Some say the Rules is it… along with all of those other books like He’s Just Not Into You, etc.

I think that’s part of the story but feel there’s more to it!

Women are not as naturally inclined to take a highly scientific and analytic approach to attraction like men are. So this blog will attempt to do that.

Ive had a lot of interesting experiences with men and attraction, and honestly I am not a natural at it. Not even close. Its taken some careful observation, reading, study and luck. I am still learning how to be.

I think part of the reason is that I’ve spent most of my life in the USA and although I don’t like to judge or act like I am some sociological expert, I think there are major issues in the West with gender roles and dynamics.  I am a confused and lost soul… and will hopefully find my way step-by-step soon. 🙂

I’m going to stay anonymous because:

  • It would cause problems in my relationships with men and other women. People may make snap judgments and think I’m trying to exploit men, use them, am a gold digger, etc. My aim is to better myself and learn how to be in a good relationship (marriage) with a great guy.  Do I feel that a high achieving and intelligent guy will force me to bring out the best in me (including my best “game”)? Yes, absolutely! Does that mean this blog will detail how to conquer men without caring about morals or ethics? No way.
  • I have a regular day job and because of the sensitive nature of what I’ll discuss on this blog it’s better to keep the thoughts I’ll reveal fully private.
  • My family would kill me! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some vital statistics so you can know what’s shaping my perspective:

  • 25+
  • My beauty score:  I used to think I was a 8 because the best guys in some situations single me out and pursue me (in a serious way with the intention of marriage).  And many of these guys are big ballers in very successful professions (Wall Street, medicine, law, economists, etc.) After reading this, I might be more of a 5/6  (boo hoo 😦 ) in terms of my face and with a body of a 6/7 (more a 6 nowadays as I’m working off about 10-15 lbs. ewww).  But maybe I really am a 7/8.  I don’t know.  It’s hard to know the truth once you are not 24 any more.  And I think glowing with classy sexiness goes a long way too (I’ll explain what I mean in some post some day).  I might have to turn off the aloof, dazed & sexy mode when around the boyz one of these days and see if I can overhear how they rate me…
  • Consider myself very traditional in terms of values and beliefs.  I believe in marriage.
  • I try to not judge others as much as possible.  Everyone should do what’s right for them.  So I don’t believe there is only one right path in life.
  • Come from a normal family with no divorce or weird drama (except for the regular Indian manipulation/control stuff).  People from broken homes (who didn’t grow up with two parents) or immoral homes bewilder me.

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I dedicate this blog as I do with all things in my life to Our Lord the Creator:  only by His grace is anything possible.

11 Responses to “About”

  1. Guys who worry about gold diggers usually don’t make a lot of money: real rich guys don’t care….also…God makes me question how to make “Game” ethical? « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] have my reasons for wanting to explore girl Game, mainly because I feel the influence of mainstream American culture have confused my feminine […]

  2. A Guy Says:

    Women do not need “game” because the already have an infrastructure to help them learn the rules (and I do not mean that silly book).

    * Girls share more of the details of their encounters.
    * Girls have magazines that discuss this stuff in painful detail.
    * Girls have romance novels that provide (a fairly formulaic) model for interaction.
    * Good-looking (alpha) girls will hangout with not-so good-looking (beta) girls. This means that ordinary girls still see pickup in action (note how all PUA stuff mentions opening groups). Cool (alpha) guys do not hang out with non-cool (i.e., beta) guys. So non-alpha (beta) guys never get to watch (and learn from) cool (alpha) guys.

    About 25 percent of the population is introvert. Introverted women still get hit on. Introverted men do not (of course, neither do extrovert men).

    I guess that fair portions of “game” students are men whose only crime is introversion. A lot of “game” is about helping introverted men get over their lack of practice. I know many introverts who, although quiet, are fairly masculine and alpha. Studying game can help them overcome both bad training (“be nice”) and relative lack of experience (I am not talking virgins, just fewer interactions).

    The various blogs and PUA groups are a belated attempt of men to create a similar infrastructure that women have. It will probably not be as successful. Men are funny: we would take a bullet or throw a punch to protect a friend, but find it difficult to help each other out in the manner women do.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Your observations are interesting. But I have a little different perspective with some of them:

      Game for girls has to do with marriage to the best guy possible.

      Getting hit on does not translate to getting a marriage proposal. Being a pretty girl will get the guy to come over, it may get him to ask you out. But it will not make him fall in love with you or want to marry you.

      We all know very attractive women who are out on dates all the time who for whatever reason get pump-and-dumped or just can’t find a man they’re happy with. We all know women who are super hot but go psycho and scare off some really good guys.

      It’s quite a broad generalization to say that all girls know other girls who are successful with men and learn from them.

      To make an anecdote of myself: I definitely have my friends who I would call the “queens” of knowing how to deal with men – some of these girls are super hot, some of them just really know how to make the most of what they have. Most of them have very feminine personalities, are pleasant to be around, and are able to control themselves from jumping after short-term gratification (Alpha males).

      But I know more girls who are unsuccessful with men, who can’t find a guy they are happy with, who scare off guys by trying to push things too fast, and who don’t get the simple facts of trying to look the best they can by losing weight/getting their teeth whitened/considering plastic surgery, etc. Imagine if my only friends were these girls (this was actually the case for me in elementary and middle school, I was a big time shy girl back then and had like one friend lol).

      Men care mainly about how a girl looks but for marriage, they also care about how a girl acts.

      Many women in Western societies engage in promiscuous behavior and think it will not have consequences. Gender roles in the West are very confused and I think many women are not sure about how to act or act too manly to be very attractive. (I am confused about this more than you would think but over time have realized how to act with guys – they don’t mind if I be a girly girl and let him be the man and wear the pants and make decisions, etc.).

      Popular culture doesn’t help when they have shows like Sex and the City promoting an unrealistic and highly untraditional lifestyle that most women should not aspire to.

      Women’s magazines are not so great unfortunately either, they either focus on weird tricks (as if sex is the way to keep a guy – the truth is he’s more likely to leave you), or they try to make it seem like women should try to make men communicate like women by being there for them for mushy talks, etc.

      I think the idea of introverted guys learning Game is really good, and I wish that was the main reason most guys learned it! I think the online networks are good too, it makes the pool of people you can learn from wider. But a lot of them are learning it more out of a place of anger I think, at having their hearts broken or from unresolved issues from divorced parents or who knows what. These are the guys who I think are more focused on sleeping with as many women as possible and end up having a very jaded view (with sort of a drug-like euphoria when they’re sleeping around a lot which obscures the anger). I don’t know though… just overanalysing!

      A guy, please realize: women tend to be “amigas y rivales”; friends and rivals. I hope you read up on the cockblocking phenomenon where girls will block guys from approaching their friends. As an example, it’s always a delicate game for me and most of my friends in terms of talking about how many guys like us, what caliber of guys like us, what they have done to us to show they care, etc. I learned the hard way that even if your friend smiles and acts happy for you, secretly inside she thinks “But I’m hotter than her, why aren’t all these guys asking me out/buying me roses/saying they love me quickly?” And some girls will act out on that jealous feeling destructively and try to sabotage even a friend. Please look at my previous post (https://lovelysexybeauty.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/playing-a-little-dirty-planting-seeds-in-his-mind/) for some more on that.

      Thanks again, and good luck in your adventures in Game! You sound like a good guy with a heart and with good reasons for learning Game… best wishes 🙂

  3. A Guy Says:

    I get where you are coming from now. It makes sense. I realize that I made fairly broad generalizations. It was a starting point, and of course from a man’s point of view.

    I understand that women can be very (more competitive) than men in this area. I always got the impression that you (women that is) talked more about these kinds of things together. I have certainly seen that hotter-than-you cattiness.

    I think a lot of guys have similar feelings (do guys really have feelings?:)) They see the “cool guy” get the girl where they failed. They wonder what has he got that I don’t? The dynamics are not always so clear because it is not always looks or other obvious things that win the day. The study of game is an attempt to figure that out. It is probably not so simple, but it is a start.

    I agree with you regarding the anger and bitterness that some bring to the game. It sometimes frustrates me when I see some guys (apparently) have it so easy, yet I feel like I have to work hard (i.e., I am not a natural). I can see how for some that frustration turns to bitterness and anger.

    Regarding gender roles, I am more retrosexual than metrosexual. It is a woman’s job to submit and mans job to lead. This is more symbolic than actual do-what-I-say obedience. However, the man must be the more dominant and the woman more submissive partner (this is more subtle than the words sound). If this is the case it will be happier for both.

    This is a problem for the more dominant woman or less dominant man. She cannot find a man to submit to, he cannot find a woman to lead.

    None of the above should lead you to believe that I (or most other men) want mousy little dolls. Like a lot of dating/mating dynamics it is subtle not blatant.

    Regarding me being a guy with heart, it is true. However, there is an element of truth to some game theory. A man, that shows his heart (soft side) to early can lose attraction. Sometimes I have to pretend to be bad. 😉

    Thanks for an interesting blog. And good luck in your adventures in female game. Don’t worry too much Roissy and his beauty theories (he plays up his tough, heartless, bad boy thing and places too much emphasis on evo-psych stuff), from your description you are probably a 7. A seven is “good enough” for 99 percent of the men out there. You seem to have a good attitude and, despite the PUA claims, that counts for a lot.

    You gave me a detailed reply, thank you. I hope this reply covered everything. I will probably check back in as a spy from the other side.

  4. Taking it slow as I think about the next big thing and how to deal with weird girls « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] don’t know.  I’ve talked about it before in terms of how female friendships are, and some of the ways I’ve successfully avoided sabotage by jealous wannabe Queen […]

  5. Will S. Says:

    > (except for the regular Indian manipulation/control stuff)

    What is that? I’m half-Indo-Caribbean myself, but was born and raised in rural Canada, amongst mostly whites like my dad, and am not familiar with that. I’m not really a ‘desi’, therefore, and have little context to understand exactly what you mean, though I have met many ‘desis’.

    • lovelysexybeauty Says:

      Thanks for the comment. A Canadian-Carribbean-half-Desi! Cool 🙂

      I think Indian culture, like many “eastern” cultures, is group-focused as compared with “western” cultures which are more individual-focused. In Indian culture there is a big emphasis on what others will think about one’s decisions, with the most important “others” being one’s family.

      In order to enforce this sort of group order, Indian families will use hard and soft tactics to basically control and influence their kids. From what I’ve seen, it mostly works (it’s hard to talk about something like that empirically, but if you look at the life choices many Indians make they conform to the Indian value system in terms of marrying within one’s one group, pursuing success, studying certain fields, etc.).

      For example, I had soft pressure put on me to pursue a “sensible” degree in school: medicine, science, or engineering. The soft pressure took the form of my parents giving me little lectures on why these subjects were best, along with them making a big deal out of other people who had done these things as examples I should follow, even threatening to not pay for my education if I dare major in something else (I briefly thought about majoring in religion and art), etc.

      As another example, I’ve observed hard pressure from Indian parents in terms of marital choice. A male cousin of mine wanted to marry a European girl that he fell in love with, and my aunt (his mother) enacted some of the craziest drama I’ve seen. She initially fainted upon hearing the news, then she started having mysterious “heart problems,” and would cry to him about how badly the foreign woman treated her, claimed she would take poison if he married her, etc. (It worked by the way, and he married a girl his mother had pre-screened for him “semi-arranged marriage” style.)

      • Will S. Says:

        Thanks, LovelySexyBeauty. Now I understand you; I know exactly what you’re talking about, now. For example, I know a Gujarati fellow who quit working at a soup company when he learned they made beef broth, because he didn’t want his daughter to be known as the daughter of a father who called himself Hindu yet worked at a beef-soup-making company; so that fear of what others might think played a big part in his decision to quit, after his wife pressured him in that regard.

        Of course, we in the West aren’t immune to this; my Mom has let me know by body language mostly, and moping around, when she has disapproved of girls I have dated. Then again, she is of Indian descent, so maybe that’s partly why. 🙂

  6. Boys who are too confusing: cognitive dissonance and the “neg” « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] my perspective, not as a HB10 or even a HB9, but more likely a HB5-8, teasing is a lot of fun but too much can be quite unsettling.  I’m saying this as a woman who […]

  7. Sharing Game with Loved Ones: is total openness a bad idea? :-( « LovelySexyBeauty: adventures in love, enchantment, & beauty Says:

    […] I ask him to please first read by About page where I talk about why I’m […]

  8. Miixxturee Says:

    What on earth do you mean by ”People from broken homes (who didn’t grow up with two parents) or immoral homes bewilder me.”

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