Archive for the ‘perfect 10’ Category

Which of These Girls Is Hotter? You Be the Judge

August 8, 2010

So I’ve decided to go ahead and put up pics. of the girls I talked about in a prior post, “When The New Girl is Not an Upgrade.”

Which girl is hotter? One of these girls is the “new girl” and one is the ex.  I know the pics. aren’t clear, but I hope you can make out the general range these girls would fall in (there are weight tells via general body shape/arms and presence of double chins, and even from this weird angle I think you can make out their relative femininity in terms of of facial features).  So I hope it’s quite obvious which one is which:

So you tell me… is the ex hotter or is the new girl?

Which of these sisters is hotter?  My fiance and I disagree on which one is prettier, and I think hotter (I don’t think the less attractive one has enough “oomph” to overtake the more attractive sister). I don’t think there is a vast difference in how they photograph from how they appear in real life, by the way:

Just so you know, they have almost identical bodies… the girl on the left above (straighter hair) has a bigger bust that you can’t tell from the below since she’s wearing something loose fitting:

My opinions after the jump.


Best Bangs…Rayanna with Bebe

April 2, 2010

So I’m pretty sure it’s a very, very little known fact that Adriana Lima was in a Bebe ad campaign wayyyyy back in the day.

I used to loveeeeeeee the serpentine hypnoticism of this picture

Yes, everyone’s favorite sexpot model was the focus of an ad campaign by everyone’s favorite mall-brand sexy clothes store.

Prepubescent... or pre-implants?

I remember this campaign because I made it my laptop screensaver 🙂  And my Iberian fascination was on full hilt so I really liked the campaign too. (And who know Adriana would be my girl… we both save the V card 🙂 )

Well I think Bebe may have found another promising face:  model Rayanna.  This girl has the absolute BEST blunt front bangs I’ve seen on anyone, ever. The perfectly frame her face giving her a wide-eyed sensuality.

I died when I saw this picture back months ago... I was like that's what I wanna be for XMas 🙂 So cuuuteeey sexy

Here you can see how her hair has been cut with a few strategic layers to soften the overall effect of the bangs without losing the powerful quality of its choppy bluntness

She has this amazing combination of adorableness and sexiness.  I think she might be one to watch… I believe she is still with Ford models so let’s see what’s next for this one.

Job as a Means to Shopping

February 21, 2010

When the US economy tanked in late 2008 and early last year, I was concerned about my job situation. But not deeply. As one of those seemingly rare (?) people who lives below her means, I have very little debt and a generous cushion of savings. And then I could always dip into emergency investments if needed (the very last resort being Daddy… which I would avoid at all costs because that doesn’t feel right to do).

I was definitely trying to ensure my own stability into the recession. I upped the networking and started paying attention to trends within and outside of my company.


Some of My Favorite Posts of 2009 (not 2008 :-) )

January 12, 2010

It’s hard to believe that soon, it will be one year since I began blogging! Crazy! 

I can’t say my writing quality has improved, or that I have had any moments where I had a great impact. But I can say that I am so, so happy where I am today compared to where I was a year ago.

Sure, I am one year less young (boo hoo 😦 ), and maybe a bit more weary from some of the rougher bumps following this path… yet I am more at peace, feel more in control of what happens in my life, and less confused about what really matters. And I am so, so blessed to have had a great Guy around to share this journey with 🙂

Who knows where things will go, and I do make little mistakes here and there still (it’s hard to shut off the “boyly” attitude sometimes and not take out my stress in weird way!). But I truly feel like I have the means and motivation to be the best girl I can be in every way, and that I am on my way.

Any way, on to some of my favorite posts last year (that I authored, I mean):

  • From Betas to Alpha Men: How Can Women Inspire More Alpha Behavior?  – why can’t women become walking re-frames of feminity, inspiring a return to old-fashioned “me boy you girl” behavior?  Funnily, parts of his post were pasted to a few different message boards out there as a joke.  Perhaps I need to revisit this with the additional thought acumen I have gained… let’s see.
  • Sexiness Can Be Better Than Sex: How Not to Give It Up But Keep Him Trying – My horcrux, my invincibility potion, my challenge, my kryptonite.  It may sound like teasing, but the ability to provide sexiness without actually compromising chastity is for me, the key.
  • The Art of Being All Girl: A Fascination Read – Fascinating Womanhood and Fascinating Girl are the GirlGame books that have the biggest impact on my thinking this past year.  It may be a bit strong on the complete submission to his will side (ie., if your man is about to make terrible mistake, instead of questioning his authority pray to God that something else intervenes). But highly valuable nonetheless, and dare I say empowering – it’s OK to be feminine and traditional.  Don’t let feminist haters make you think otherwise.
  • Jealous Bitches: Fat Bitch in Denial – Not the only type of Jealous Bitch, but the type that I had the most experience with last year.  C-kblockers suck… the mirror of that statement minus the block would be a better use of their time.
  • Don’t Listen to What Guys Say, Listen to How They Act:  Some Guys are Paper Tigers – Any girl who reads the MRA-sphere or PUA-sphere and is alarmed must remember this… real life experience counts as much as, if not more, than the compelling free speech expressed by highly articulate and insightful personas online.  Plus, we all know how guys (and some girls) like to talk allll big right?  Don’t forget it… and don’t overreact (I have to remember this myself).

I leave you with my beauty inspiration of the moment:  her big baby eyes, alabaster skin contrasting with that dark fringe make her absolutely gorgeous! Hipster meets burlesque diva meets fashionista… I tried to copy a girl and I liked it 😉


Brittany Murphy RIP: Victim of Pretty at Any Price?

December 22, 2009

Brittany Murphy died at a tragically young age this weekend.

I like many girls remember watching Clueless as a kid and loving it. I thought everyone was so cool and pretty; Alicia Silverstone as Cher was so charming with her fashionably-attired naivete. Brittany Murphy was the average (or below-average) chubby chick that Cher and crew decide to make over.

I’d say she was a nice and average 4 on the beauty scale initially:

It's clear who looked hot and not in this picture.

"Ugly" Interrupted

Years later when Brittany Murphy came backon the scene, it was shocking to see the transformation. She became hot!  She shrunk to cute and petite size!  How?

I’d say she ended up looking somewhere between a 7 and 8 later on – a whopping jump of 3 to 4 points on the hotness scale:

Wow, as a blonde...!

At a transition point

With dark hair

It may come out that cause of her death had something to do with how she was maintained her skinny mini figure.  Sadly, I think she is an example of how being thin will make you look prettier in your body and face.  (Some minor tweaks can help too – was it obvious that she had plastic surgery?)

You can see how not only her body but her face transformed.  Her features are more chiseled, yet delicate  Her eyes pop more without big fat chipmunk cheeks in the way.

There are rumors that she modified her hair and make-up to her advantage:  a better hair color, cuter cut, and false eyelashes to emphasize the doe look.

See the difference?

Bad photo but you can see the overdone work (lips) and subtle (nose)

She looks petite and delicate like a moonpie, or a moppet.

This is how a girl goes from not to hot. If you hear what some guys say about her, most found her very do-able.

She is an example of how being skinny can completely transform a girl into being pretty – and getting a few extra tweaks can push her even further. She is an example of a girl who jumped SEVERAL POINTS on the hotness scale.

She didn’t accept where destiny was pushing her – into being a below-average chick.  She wanted more.

It takes serious motivation to transform like this, particularly physically.  Some may say going from eating a lot to near-starvation takes nothing less than chemical intervention.  Going down this path can be very, very dangerous; but when you see the physical results like above, it’s hard to come up with a reason extreme measures might not be OK if you don’t go too far in harming your health with them.

Sadly, this doesn’t turn me off in a way… let’s see if I can reduce my caloric intake and up my workout even more. 😦

Different Ideals of Booty

October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!

An issue of New Beauty magazine described how the perfect b*tt is defined by some different cultures:

Miss New Beauty

click to view full size

  • African-American: Maximally full in all areas, including the sides of the buttocks and outer thighs
  • Asian: Small yet shapely buttocks; creating the illusion of longer legs
  • Caucasian “Athletic”: Small, yet shapely; short vertically; moderate fullness in the upper and middle thirds; flatness in the sides and buttocks
  • Caucasian “Voluptuous”: Fullness in the middle half of the buttocks; rounded or flat sides of the buttocks
  • Hispanic: Fullness in the entire buttocks, including the sides and a little roundness in the outer thighs

Hm… so how can girl achieve the one she likes best? 🙂

Enjoy the skintight and skin-show costumes today… hope you get a bite of something good. 😉

xoxo LSB

Trashy Lingerie

"This blood sucker will suction her lips to your neck until you are under her spell...'I vant to suck your bone�I mean blood!' "

Sad Skinny Secrets: ana and mia are the friends who will corrupt you

September 14, 2009

I seem to be coming down with something… could it be swine flu?  What’s sad is that I’m kind of excited… when I get sick I usually lose weight!

I’ve never had an eating disorder but I’ve been on the edge for sure.  For all the bad stuff people say about people who might be a little anorexic or bulimic, the girls that don’t carry it too far actually LOOK GOOD. I’m not talking about Keira Knightley or Posh Spice (Victoria Bekham).  I’m talking about Mary Kate and Ashley Olson… Angelina Jolie…  Megan Fox… I have a lot of curves naturally so the skinnier I get, the more the curves stand get definition (Jessica Alba style!).

Other sad secrets on ways I’ve tried to get skinny:

  • Spit it out: I’ve literally spit out what I was eating when I realize how fat it would make me.  Gross, but at least the extra pound(s) won’t be even grosser later!
  • Food poisoning: I hate to say it but I don’t mind getting food poisoning. It’s like being a little mia (bulimic) without having to force it!
  • Thinspiration: I’ve tucked pictures of Nicole Scherzinger and Megan Fox into my purse before, to look at the next time I feel like eating freely
  • Full on ana and mia: yes, I have tried fasting to lose weight.  It doesn’t work.  Your body goes into starvation mode.  Also, I can’t make myself throw up.  I have taken laxies and fiber to try to push food out of my system quickly after overeating before though.  Once I overdid this (a couple of weeks consistently) and my skin started getting sallow and dry.  I learned you can’t do that stuff long term without it affecting other aspects of your beauty.  You need those minerals and nutrients!

I’m still figuring out how to recover from momentary lapses of overeating and/or bad eating.  I think the skinnier one is, the more easily one can recover from a bad meal or two (or three lol).  So I have to keep at it with getting my skinniest and sexiest ever.


To get a younger man...whos a sports star...and french...look like this

To get a younger man...who's a sports star...and french...look like this


LSB daily beauty summary (it’s week 2!):

  • Workout: indoor running HARD for 1 hour 15 minutes (aimed for 2 but didn’t make it).  My body aches so hopefully I exerted enough!
  • Eating: lots of green tea with no sweetener, one coconut yogurt (270 calories…maybe 20 carbs…eeks… it was soooo delish tho), 7 almonds, 2 handfuls of grapes, 2 hoodia pills (was trying to stave off my apetite, which worked…didn’t feel like even having my salad…then i rebounded), vending machine trail mix, a kit kat bar, 12 mini cookies from Mrs. Fields, 1 more handful of grapes, limeade cooler with splenda.  This was one of my most UNHEALTHIEST days.  So much junk!  I can’t have something sweet to start off the day, it throws me out of whack too much.  And I have to fight the sweet cravings!
  • Other beauty: been using the cream for my KP skin bumps… didn’t do my morning beauty routine or my routine last night, dopes!  I need to concentrate on this
  • Fashion: dressed well for work for once, bought some cute new jewelry and cute new t-shirt, thought over my weekend fashion choices
  • Weekend feedback:  I was good on Friday and Saturday but really overdid it Sunday…not sure why…I ate too much sweet in the morning again and it threw me off!  I need to cut any sweet portions by at least half if not more… and not eat the whole thing because it tastes good!  One bite at a time girl, one bite at a time…

Skinny Makes You Pretty All Over: not just tummy, hips and thighs

September 8, 2009

A post about East Asian women which happened around the time I had my own experience with some Asian friends brought me to buying this book:  Sex Secrets of an American Geisha.

I flipped through the book on Amazon, and it didn’t seem like it was all about tricks for the bedroom but had advice on how to look better, how to act feminine, how to enchant a man, and how to go from going out to getting married.

“The Asian Geisha works consciously at always becoming more beautiful, more sexy, and more feminine, even if only by implementing the tiniest of changes.  She makes enhancing her appearance and mannerisms a high priority so that she may continue to be thought of as attractive…

If she rests on her laurels and fails to maintain and improve her attractiveness, perhaps a younger, prettier apprentice geisha will steal her clients and also attract other gentlemen…beauty and a sexy femininity (as well as entertainment and conversational skills) are critically important to each geisha’s success.

…the world of the American Geisha is also extremely competitive, especially when you desire love and marriage with a (relatively rare) Good Man.”

Two big sections of the book cover weight loss and being skinny.  There were a few things which stood out to me in these sections:

  • Being skinny doesn’t just make you get rid of fat rolls and smooth out your contours.  It makes you prettier from tips to toes!  This was a great list to look at to remind myself how important it is to stay skinny mini, and get even skinnier!  A great chart from the book:


  • I also liked the section on common challenges many girls face when trying to find a man, from how to make time to how to spend money for beauty improvements!  Some of the author’s suggestions:
  • “To save time:  Get a less-demanding job; Spend less time cooking and eating; Spend less time on dates with inappropriate men; Spend less time on the phone
  • To save or make money: Get a smaller, cheaper apartment (Your Good Man cares not at all that you might live in a two-bedroom apartment rather than in a one-bedroom or studio apartment. And he doesn’t care what your job is either, even if you do care what his is.); Buy less food (note from LSB: sometimes those inappropriate men can cover this… hm so tradeoff between money or time… lol); Don’t vacation
  • To spend time and money on your highest priorities (note from LSB: in the book she talks about making your beauty a #1 priority, no compromise): Exercise; Have skin treatments; Wake up ten minutes earlier to style your hair; Pick a night to stay in,do your nails, and apply a mud mask; Plan and keep daily charts; Spend time every day accessorizing your outfit; Sleep enough; Take one tiny step each day toward becoming more beautiful; Become more feminine each day; Experiment with dressing more sexily”

I hope you enjoyed the above!  I found the book useful and interesting, and if you’re interested in more check out the book.  As I reference it, I may post some more of my favorite sections (for my benefit as well as anyone else’s!).


LSB daily beauty summary (it’s day 1 of week 1!):

  • Workout: walked 5 miles RT to salon (couldn’t do more intense workout since it would mess up my hair), walked up and down stairs, did a few squats.  Will do better with toning tomorrow
  • Eating: green tea with splenda, 2 cups mexican corn soup with olives and 2 string cheeses, 1/2 cup homemade hot cocoa with splenda and pure cocoa powder, couple handful of nuts, bites out of a tricolore salad (rest for lunch tomorrow!), bread roll with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, 2 cupcakes (halfway through the first I was done but donno why I kept on going 😦 I shouldn’t have bought them!).  I will do better tomorrow!  No more overeating… gotta conquer this lazy mind and tummy
  • Other beauty: got eyebrows done and wasn’t shy to demand the better person do it (gotta stay on top of this!), got cream for my KP skin bumps…just figured out that’s what I have… and it’s totally treatable yayyyy
  • Fashion: ordered some hot shoes online that have just a bit of heel… fingers crossed they are sexy in real life too, bought a sexy animal print skirt for work…not sure if i’ll keep it but it just screamed subtle animal sexiness at me so will see if i can put an outfit together

Hot B-tch Inspiration: learning from a top tier girl

September 8, 2009

A girl I know (who I wish I was better friends with!) has one of the most amazing figures I’ve seen.

She is slim and tiny, probably a size 0 or 2, but soft as well. And she’s quite tall but not at model scale.

Her figure is curved and this girl is also blessed to not be flat – she has some nice little mangoes to fill out that top.

She looks 100% like a model.  She is easily among the top 3 hottest girls in the club based on raw body shape, looks and subtle sexiness.  And in every day life she is absolutely striking.  I’m not sure why she didn’t try to go into the entertainment industry… it might have to do with her man and his influence.

This girl is also the type of girl I would describe as a Hot B*tch.
Hot B*tches are what I would describe as very pretty, sexy and fashionable girls who are very to the point and take “acting right” very seriously.

These girls are perfect to the point of perfectionism: they eat just the right amount, they work out enough to stay hot, they always are well dressed, they just flow through conversations, they have perfectly maintained homes, they are on top of their errands and responsibilities, and everything they do is just right – these girls are in complete control.

Most Hot B*tches I’ve seen get in a relationship and then marriage fairly quickly. I think the supreme self-conscious and self-aware manner in which they are in control and logical makes them less prone to getting lazy or being needy.

From what I’ve seen girls who can be in a constant state of perfection with a man (externally and internally) will tend to get the guy to fall on love quick.

I was stalking her on Facebook… and was surprised by some of what I learned:

  • In college she was skinny but not Victorias Secret model skinny and hot like now
  • She doesn’t have a lot of friends she hangs out with a lot, although the ones she does hang out with are pretty “elite” (good looking, socialites, etc)
  • She may have had very minor plastic surgery on her nose – it is so good I never realized except for a couple of photos and looking at the rest ofher family
  • The guy she is with, although rich and successful, is a nerd! I wonder if he is attracted to her elite coolness an ability to hang out with what corresponds to the post-HS/college “popular crowd”
  • Although a fairly strong b*tchy girl, with her man she is pretty mushy and even shows a lot of sensitivity
  • She became more open about the mushiness after hour proposed (I’ve seen most smart girls do this)
  • Her hotness+mushiness/vulnerability worked so well that her man is ok with her being a housewife after marriage – I guess the b*tch snob act is more of a public thing
  • She works very, very hard to look the way she does
I am trying to copy her workout plan and attitude towards how I look, because I really was inspired.

She works out 2 hours at a time! And pushes herself to the limit when she does.  She works out to the point of exhaustion… and to the point of sometimes getting minor injuries.  She works through the pain.

She spends lots of money on regular hair straightening. I think she may even get lash extensions and lip injections too.

She doesn’t let haters get to her when they say she is too skinny.  I remember when we all went out to HH once, she had like 2 chips with salsa and when someone asked her why she wasn’t eating she snapped, “oh do you want these chips here take then.”. Go girl… Looking hot is more important.

She got laser hair removal everywhere… I’m sure she planned it out in order to manage the growth phase.

Her major free time activities are working out, shopping for clothes, avoiding eating, sleeping and beautifying herself.

When talking to her you feel like you are on your guard… she listens so intently and like she’s sort of evaluating you… but not in a bad way, like in a way that pushes you to be Miss Coolness.

All this got her a rich and successful guy who is happy to let her stay at home after marriage. And he seems happy too, she looks like she stepped out of one of his video games, she is that hot.

One thing she mentioned about working out (she does races) is about beating her lazy mind.

I am going to remember this every time I am tempted to skip my workout, zone out with TV instead of doing a pedicure, eat the whole chocolate cake slice instead of half of it, sleep an extra 30 minutes instead of doing my hair perfectly for work, shave instead of wax, and that other stuff.
With this… I declare this the start to

I am going to spend the next 4 weeks on everything possible to take my looks to the next level!  I’m so excited… it’s gonna be awesome 🙂

Boy tests: how to pass

August 19, 2009

Guys will test girls a lot of times, particularly when they are first getting to know a girl.

These tests can vary, but I see them as trying to figure out a few things:

  • Is this a fun time girl or a potential wife girl?
  • Is this girl after my money or trying to use me?
  • How far can I get this girl to go? How much can I control her?
  • Is this girl the type who will be clingy, moody or emasculate me?
  • Is this girl going to be the type who plays annoying games, like being busy all the time and not returning my calls?

Basically, a guy can test a girl about a variety of things in a variety of ways. It will be hard to always figure out when he is testing, because sometimes the tests are quite obvious while other times they are not so blatant.

Perception is just as important, if not more important, than the reality.  It would be foolish to ignore how people interpret certain behaviors and actions!

Also, in my opinion many girls make the mistake of becoming gravely offended by some of the “tests” guys give to them.  In the beginning, I think it’s best to treat some tests just as that: tests he’s using to screen out girls he wants to spend his resources (time, effort and money) from those he does not want to invest in.

A confident girl should have no fear about passing!  And the less seriously she takes the test, and the less offended she is by the test in general, the more she will pass.  And as she passes, he may start to see her as something special.

Some different tests and how to pass:

  • Is this a fun time girl or a potential wife girl?
  • This is often a screen for promiscuity, character, and of course compatibility.
  • PASSING:  a girl who is genuinely good and has not been promiscuous should be careful to not give the impression that she has.  Speaking from personal experience, not doing anything doesn’t mean that the curiosity or even mm… desires (hehe) don’t exist.  Book knowledge can be confused for actual experience sometimes, so it’s better to not show a lot of awareness if at all.  It may be better for a girl to block out her knowledge of crude jokes, certain slang terms, and other practices until her real nature comes to light.  Also, holding her ground about not doing physical things with a guy and being completely natural about it is important too.
  • PASSING: girl who is promiscuous should probably be very, very careful to let this information come to light.  I won’t comment on whether she should be upfront about her past her not.
  • PASSING: good character is something that shows in the details.  You can fake good character for the short-term but not the long-term. If a girl is not generous, honest, caring, and the like, she needs to work on that first.  She can end up failing the character test by: 1) mentioning how she lied at work/lied on her taxes/lied to people she cares about, or 2) doing dishonest things like not returning extra change given to her by a cashier/stealing things that are not hers/acting entitled
  • Is this girl after my money or trying to use me?
  • This is often a big test in the beginning.
  • PASSING: This is controversial, but I recommend a girl always sweetly offer to pay or contribute to the expenses of things. It’s hard to do this in a way that’s not a little emasculating (to some guys, at least). I recommend asking quietly when the waiter/vendor is out of earshot, “How much should I give?”  That way the girl is letting the guy lead, not putting him in a position to seem bad in front of others, and the like.  If the guy takes too much money, the girl should be grateful because she found a cheapo early and can decide whether he’s worth that or not. By the way, if asked in the way I’ve mentioned above by a feminine, sweet girl, many guys will say, “No no, don’t worry about it.” I’ve never seen a guy be so bad as to say, “You should pay all of it.”  Although if a guy did in the very beginning, I wouldn’t become all mad and would probably just laugh and try to make a joke of it.  Maybe even disappear to the restroom for a loooong time right then.  I would see it as he’s trying to match wits with me, and I would try to outwit him but in a fun, sweet, and sexy way.
  • PASSING: in the beginning and even later on, a smart girl will wait for the guy to offer her help or different things.  Asking him for anything will probably send up quite a few flags.  If a guy likes a girl, and she admires his good qualities and talents, it seems like he is more than happy to use his expertise and/or resources to help her out and will go ahead and offer to do so.   She just shouldn’t ask…
  • How far can I get this girl to go? How much can I control her?
  • This is often a screen for self-respect, dignity, and again promiscuity.
  • PASSING: a girl who tolerates bad behavior will be seen as desperate, lacking in self respect, and just generally low value.  If a guy is truly rude to a girl, like making promises he doesn’t keep, or flaking on her, asking her out last minute, etc., she needs to show self-respect and JUST SAY NO.  She needs to treat a potential love interest the way she would treat any other person, which is to sweetly say sorry and/or no to an unreasonable demand.  The ruder the request, the more she needs to be firm.  Amazingly, there are some girls who don’t get this and will respond to last-minute date requests from a new guy, will tolerate a guy booking her to go out but then never actually taking her out, etc.  Any girl could take this too far and go into princess syndrome, but if a guy is truly being rude she needs to trust her gut, and without putting him down or being all angry about it, she needs to sweetly say no and be firm.  Good guys will realize they weren’t being very cool and will often modify their behavior.  This is a good way to screen for guys that are serious about a girl or not as well.
  • PASSING: a guy will try to push a girl to be physical again and again, and put her in situations to be that way.  She needs to sweetly just come up with excuses to not go to his place, for example, or just sweetly say no to the physical stuff.  If she’s not comfortable with doing something, she needs to sweetly say no.
  • Is this girl the type who will give be clingy, moody or emasculate me?
  • This goes along with guys doing slightly disrespectful and/or rude things, along with seeing how a girl acts with a guy in front of others (including his friends and family), and also how she acts during different parts of the week.
  • PASSING:  there’s a reason that relationship advice for women always talk about not making the first move, not calling a guy a lot, waiting for him to ask her out, and generally letting the man lead with progressing things along.  More often than not, a girl will seem desperate, clingy and moody if she initiates ANYTHING in the beginning or after any major milestone.  It’s better for girls to show “receptive interest,” and be enthusiastic about his ideas and suggestions but not take the lead with them. Even if it’s excruciating, girls should wait for him to call, suggest the next date, express how much he likes her, etc.
  • PASSING: if a girl is having a bad day, it’s general good manners to not dump all her issues on others.  Whether it’s a friend, trusted confident, or an acquiantance, everyone needs to be aware of when to really reach out to others with deep problems and when to be self-sufficient and deal with them on their own.  This is especially important in the beginning with a guy.  Most guys want sunshine, and sparkle, and general fun with a girl they are first getting to know.  Sure, later it’s only human to show a bit more of the sensitive and serious side.  But in the beginning it’s too much too soon.  Men don’t have as much of a capacity for emotional highs and lows as women do.  There is a possible exception case to my advice, and that is the moody/depressed/negative/pessimistic man. He may find a girl who is too happy to be unreal, and boring. Smart girls are observant and know to adapt to the situation as needed.
  • Is this girl going to be the type who plays annoying games, like being busy all the time and not returning my calls?
  • PASSING: don’t make things difficult in the beginning.  Yes, the guy should approach you first.  Yes, the guy should suggest you go out.  Yes, he should call and suggest you meet up.  It’s important to be friendly and sweet, without seeming like a guy has never talked to you before or something. (If you’re sufficiently hot, he probably won’t think that though.)  When the guy finally calls, some girls make the mistake of making it too difficult to just set up a first meeting.  A girl shouldn’t drop everything and go super out of her way to meet the guy, but for that first meeting she shouldn’t be too challenging either.  It’s more important to pace things, like wait a day to call him back, and keep the date to just a few hours, and things like that.  That will be more of a fun challenge than making him do a guessing game for a free spot in her schedule.

There are plenty of other tests guys do, like:

  • Is she intelligent too or just a pretty face?
  • Some guys don’t care about this, but many do because some guys care a lot about how the woman they’re with reflects on them when around others.
  • PASSING: Being too serious and intellectual is not very sexy, especially in the typical masuline American way that many women follow.  A girl should speak in short sentences, and softly but firmly when expressing her ideas.  She should not imply that a man does not know something or is less knowledgeable than her, and she shouldn’t be a know-it-all.  If a girl is too soft and fun, a guy may try to mention something to test if she understands what he’s talking about.  If she does, without seeming like she’s insecure and trying to one-up she can make a little remark back about it.  If she doesn’t know about it, no worries: she can give him a chance to share his intelligence and ask him, “Oh, what’s that?” And then ask some fairly smart follow-up questions.
  • CAUTION: in an attempt to prove her intelligence, some girls will talk a lot about their career and school successes.  I think a girl in a high-powered career should really, really downplay what she does until things are a bit more established.  It’s amazing to me that some girls don’t have the basic sense to know that a woman who acts all powerful and like a know-it-all b*llbuster is a turn-off to most masculine men.
  • Is she a responsible adult woman or a spoiled immature little girl?
  • Men like women who need them, but also like women who don’t need them.  It’s a conundrum, yes. 🙂
  • PASSING: A woman should be self-sufficient without seeming like she is too independent.  This is tough to do.  One way is if she just lives her life but doesn’t talk too much about all the independent things she does, like complete her own taxes, change her own oil, etc.  Some things are better left unsaid or downplayed.  She can also show her reliance on others for getting things done, to show she is self-sufficient but does depend on help from her dad, her brothers, her college (male) friend, etc.
  • Is she in marriage and baby-making mode?
  • I think the guy is mainly trying to see if a girl is desperate.  Most men want to feel like a girl wants him for the person who is, not just for what he can provide (although what a man can provide is tied to who he is too).  No man wants to feel used as just as a baby daddy or a bank account.
  • PASSING: a girl absolutely should not talk about something as serious as her search for the One, or her ticking biological clock, or how she just really wants to get married.  All of these things are instant male repellant.  Even if a guy will seem initially cool, he will feel that urge to bolt.  It’s better for a girl to be coy about her intentions, and about marriage and kids says, “Sure, someday,” or try to not answer clearly.  She needs to show self-respect for herself and that she’s not so desperate that he can drag her along with the promise of potential marriage, and also that she will value him for HIM, not for his ability to fill this role of “husband.”