Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

A Beautiful Love, a Beautiful Marriage, a Beautiful Life

November 30, 2010

I can’t believe four simple minutes touched me so.  This may have had a greater emotional impact on me than watching the scary and sad scene in Bambi, when her mama… 😦

Amazing, I don’t know how I missed this when it first came out!

“”Up” begins with a romance as sweet and lovely as any I can recall in feature animation. Two children named Carl and Ellie meet and discover they share the same dream of someday being daring explorers. In newsreels, they see the exploits of a daring adventurer named Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer), who uses his gigantic airship to explore a lost world on a plateau in Venezuela and bring back the bones of fantastic creatures previously unknown to man. When his discoveries were accused of being faked, he flies off enraged to South America again, vowing to bring back living creatures to prove his claims.

Nothing is heard from him for years. Ellie and Carl (Edward Asner) grow up, have a courtship, marry… It’s shown by [Paul] Docter in a lovely sequence, without dialogue, that deals with the life experience in a way that is almost never found in family animation… This interlude is poetic and touching.
-Roger Ebert

I LOVEEEEE being married!!!!

November 9, 2010

It is a dream come true.  I can’t even explain.

OK so I’m sure anyone who bothers to read is wondering the big question…. what was it like to finally have SEX?

This is a long story, let’s just say… OUCH.  Big OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. OUCH.  Oooh… OUCH.  Oooohh…ouch…ooooh…nohh please more…ooohoucheeeeeee….

It took a while… actually we still can’t do certain positions because I clamp up.  It’s still way too tight, which is weird to me because I’m not young!  But maybe it never stretched out and stuff and just got harder over time?   He says it will loosen over time, I’m like um I hope not?!?! Hehe… but yeah a little bit would be fine so I’m not like crying when it first goes in.

 

But it’s very fun to try again and again… especially when we were first trying it out… like 5-6 times a day hehehe… I think we both got sore during the honeymoon though, we had to take a break of a day which didn’t work so great at first until it got really bad… so then we just waited a bit heheh.

It was also funny how the first night together, I wanted something special of course, the best hotel and best champagne and all that OF COURSE… been waiting a lifetime!  And then it was like huh I don’t get it where does it go exactly?  And I’m trying to loosen up I’m trying!  And then him practically breaking his d*** jamming it in loll….and me screaming when it started to rip up or something in there (I’m not quite sure what happened, it was like solidly closed which I didn’t get because obviously I have my monthly cycle when stuff comes out of there)…

Oh and I started birth control because he insisted.  AWKWARD to get the prescription… being Indian and on a tight schedule before honeymoon of course I went to a doctor friend… avoided doing that, but with stupid health insurance drama in the US, there was no way to get an appointment and pay the stupid co-insurance pay blah blah…

So I had major misgiving about doing BC. I still do.  I feel it’s unnatural, I’m so worried about what hormones will do to me, how it will affect my fertility (hellooo!!!)… and all that stuff I’ve read on Roissy and other places about BC messing people up… but the mister really wanted me to do it, insisted it’s fine so what could I do?

Any way that’s it for now… it’s been sooooooo wonderful learning to be a good wifey for my husband. 🙂  I love him sooo much, more than my life… he’s the awesomest.  And what’s funny is all our petty little fights and stupid disagreements fell away once we actually started being together frequently… in person we have no problems with anything, with anything!  He makes the decisions, sometimes asks for my input depending… and that’s that.

OK see y’all later… PS I love Roissy’s post today about the pimpette, ahahahahahaha…. loveee it.

Girl Tips from Boy Game: The Social Proposal

May 19, 2010

A post over at Roissy’s (“Second Thoughts“) was about how a particular girl announced her recent proposal on Facebook.  The picture and her caption are particularly illustrating.

The commentary on the post ended up giving me an interesting comparison point – how did I “measure up” when I was proposed to?  Have I rid myself of most unfeminine tendencies or do some still linger?

Skimming the comments, I picked out a few that indicated what was “wrong” with what this girl did, and what would’ve been “right” (which I apparently did do :-)):

Mm….looks like I might’ve passed the test back when my proposal came (listing this out for the ladies who read to learn like me)

Omega Man
“The picture should be a cute shot of the two cuddling joyfully just after the proposal.”
Check…yay

Tarl
“I might be more worried if she said nothing about it. If she says nothing, is she not really committed to the idea?”
Check… cool. Thought I was being douchette… but I didn’t want to have to call 134,098 people to share the news when the interwebs can do that for me!

EastPole
“With her reaction being ‘FUN!’, as opposed to “I’m in love!”, or “I’m marrying the best guy ever!”
Check… for the latter type of phrase of course :-) (“Luckiest girl in the universe!!” etc.)

Yay. 🙂
***The way I put up information on my proposal (and love status in general) on social networks isn’t some sort of deliberate attempt at “GirlGame” by the way.***

I don’t try “seem like” a perfect paragon of female love, devotion and sensuality. I try to be a perfect paragon of female love, devotion and sensuality.

Because I’ve worked to balance my feminine instincts and all that is good about girlhood – and am maybe 75% or more good at being fully girly – my natural response seemed to be the “right” one.

Also, the Guy is a pretty good combo. of retired Alpha/character and LTR-minded Alpha/low Alpha/higher Beta/Beta with some Game/etc.

So my passion and feelings for him arise naturally. (In my life I have never had an easier time relating to someone… while never having a harder time controlling myself with someone too, ahahah.)

But… His Temporary Beta-ization  Immediately Post-Proposal
On Roissy’s post about advice to girls, I mentioned an interesting effect that happened post-proposal for me.  It was a surprising validation of what a lot of these Game guys talk about.

Right after the proposal, my hubby-to-be got kind of mushy and emotional talking about how he knew I was the one, he wants to spend his life with me, etc.
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So When Did You Guys…

March 22, 2010

A distant yet cherished friend of mine and I were catching up.  She knew I was recently engaged and it was a great time for us to reconnect.

She’s the sort of friend I don’t talk to or see a lot, but somehow we have this instantaneous soul connection and trust.  We end up talking about some pretty deep things without hesitation.

She begins probing how my fiance and I met, how our relationship progressed.  She hints around about when we slept together – our first date, second, third, etc.

You see, she is in her 30s and single.  Surprisingly single, and I don’t mean that in the way you usually think.  She’s glowingly beautiful with an inner peace and calm.  She’s stylish, she’s incredibly sweet, and a great cook and hostess.  She’s fun yet dignified.  She seems to be in reality about where men and women relatively rank.  She lives in NYC, however, although lots of girls get married in NYC despite the culture…

Well she was shocked to hear that I never slept with my fiance like that.  That I deflected his advances with cutesy little tricks and avoidances, and basically being a ditz.  Haha… and that I even insisted on separate hotel rooms when we went on a trip together.  Without caring how embarrassing that might be with his friends who were also on the trip.

She said she thought guys won’t wait around if you don’t let them have their way.  I told her it’s true – most guys won’t.  But if it matters to you, then you just have to keep on looking around until you find the ones who are willing to wait.  And who might even respect and cherish it.

The key is to make your non-sexual value so incredibly high, that it’s worth the tradeoff for him. And of course to choose wisely, by casting a pretty wide net and being more open.

No girl should ever feel like she can’t find a man without putting out.  No, no, no.  It may take time, but if you work on being your very best in every way – physically, mentally, spiritually… it will happen.  Or, you will have found inner peace in the process and be OK with however you end up.  (That last point seems lost on most people, but that’s OK.)

Most guys are up front, just listen to them… but don’t hate them for being honest either! Just have fun. 😉

One of the Most Stressful Days of the Year

March 10, 2010

There must be something wrong with me… I find wedding planning incredibly stressful.

Maybe it’s because we are from different backgrounds, and blending traditions and families has been a difficult task.

Maybe it’s because there is tension between the families which just makes things worse.

Maybe it’s because he and I are both in stressful situations not going our way, and that leave us both wondering why things don’t work out quickly sometimes.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have a big show-off personality, and would be perfectly happy with something under the radar (like eloping in Vegas). 

Maybe it’s because the thought of spending thousands and thousands of dollars in this economy scares me… even if it’s really my parents and possibly his parents’ money.

Maybe it’s because I feel like it’s turning into something that’s more for others, than it is for us.

Everyone Loves an Engaged Couple

March 2, 2010

It’s been interesting to see the reaction the past few months to the newfound status of my Guy and I.

Friends, family, colleagues, and random strangers seem instantly delighted when they hear anything related to our path to “making it official.”

People buy us champagne toasts
People gush at what a beautiful/handsome couple we are
People call us out at events with well-wishes
People give us all sorts of advice (especially older people 🙂 )
People share their proposal and wedding stories
People volunteer to help us out in this way or that
People let our small annoyances go (thank goodness for that lol)
People generally just beam at us with big smiles and dreamy eyes

With all of the work and stress involved in making things permanent… it’s nice to get the constant cheerleader support of others to remind one why it’s worth it.

….

So my Guy was actually discouraged from making things official by some of his anti-marriage friends (and jealous girls who stalk him, lol).  I find the experience he went through in the context of the MRM/MRA along with PUA crowd’s arguments against marriage today very interesting. Especially since he clearly has options – although he has shared why I was the One of course too. 🙂

Missing the Playette but Not Missing the Game

February 20, 2010

It’s interesting when you go from single, to not really single except legally … and soon completely not single (you know…dating, engagement, marriage).

I’ve been on this journey of becoming the best girl I can possibly be, in every way.

I am so blessed to say that my knowledge of how things in life work has expanded so incredibly much.  And good things have happened for me too!  Yay!!  I am soooo lucky. 🙂

Pimpette, playette... isn't it all about hustling yourself?

Something funny happens with success sometimes, though.  With my good experiences and ever-increasing understanding, sometimes I feel like climbing that next mountain.

It’s a craving for the next challenge, to push my mind and thinking and self-awareness to levels I never thought possible!

  • How hard would it be to get a marriage proposal out of a pro. athlete?  Considering these guys have soooo many options, few incentives to settle down, and are in the world of easy money and easier women
  • What would it take to turn a player around? You know… a Pick-Up Artist type.  Or a George Clooney type. Is it really as impossible as it seems?  I bet some players have that little 5% of possibility, where they might want to settle down.  How can a girl turn that into 95%?  (The girl with a best chance of conquering one of these guys needs be 21 and under, but it would be a huge challenge to overcome that limitation…)
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