Shopping dilemmas: what’s the best strategy?

I treated my insecure and moody self to some shopping love today.

I am moody about shopping too. Sometimes I like everything I see, sometimes nothing. Today was an everything day. I had fun!

Some dilemmas I realized I go through a lot when shopping for clothes and shoes:

• I’m trying to lose weight (already .5 inch gone!). Should I wait to buy clothes when I am at my final destination? Or buy them a little snug? Or just buy my size now and get the clothes altered later?
• Really hot pieces go fast, so it’s better to buy now and return later if I change my mind. But there’s a time limit for that. And what if I want to wear a new piece? Should I wait until I’m sure I want to keep it?
• What if even hotter clothes come out in a few weeks? Should I buy all the hot stuff I see now in case clothes get even worse and uglier? Or should I wait to see what else comes out? What if I have a fashion emergency and need a hot outfit fast?
• Should I buy really nice (and expensive) going out and evening outfits? I will probably wear those items only a few times, but when I do the people I want to impress (the Guy and potential guys) will see it. So is it worth the investment?
• Or should I spend more money on work clothes since I am seen in those every day and wear those more often? Naaah… I need some hot clothes for work but it’s more important when it’s love time 😉 (I might meet someone at work but our special times will be after hours any way)
• Should I throw away the clothes I hardly wear? When do I determine I hardly wear them: one season, one year, 2 months, …? Some of them come back, I just pulled out some grey acid wash jeans from 2004 the other day!
• If there’s are two pieces, and one is in a color that’s really flattering but the shape is so-so, and the other has an amazing shape but the color is not your best, which do you choose?  Your most flattering color or what flatters your body?  Hm….

So many decisions… what to do!

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Update:  I am basically cool with the Guy again.  He said so many sweet things… teased me a little too.  I made up an excuse about not being available while he tried to reach me.  I am SOOOOO GLAD I didn’t talk to him when I was in the worst part of my moodiness the other day.  Who knows what weird comments I would have made.  After calming down I was able to be my normal sweet and in control self again.  Phewww!

Girls Who Think They Look Good Are Often in Denial of Their Ugliness

There were some really great posts over at the Roissy blog last week about the correlation between thinness and attractiveness in girls.

It seems like many attractive women are highly self-conscious about attractiveness and are extremely self-critical.  That’s how they keep themselves from slipping. I’m just speaking anecdotally, of course.  But I think it gets to the concept I of  Hot B*tches I brought up earlier.

Some girls who have some mental control and are ambitious in the area of love and marriage are very disciplined about choices that impact their looks, and try to “fix” or improve every thing they can.  They are keenly aware of the competition out there!  In order to be competitive, they criticize every inch of their being and do something about it.

With Fashion Night Out and NY Fashion Week recently, I’ve had some interesting conversations with friends about what’s considered attractive in women.

Some girls are in major denial about how ugly and/or fat they are, and this denial is one of the major factors preventing them from making progress in their love lives.

• One friend of mine is obese, not grossly so, but is definitely overweight.  Her opinion is that, “In real life, guys want a girl who is normal.  The fashion industry is really dumb for not using real looking models.” What a weirdo… I told her to ignore high fashion and think about the models chosen for Maxim, FHM, and those other lad mags.  The girls are very, very thin but also curvy.  This girl is in so much denial, she claims that guys don’t approach her because she’s so picky and must give off that vibe. Um no… they don’t approach because she’s overweight, and doesn’t even try to be one of those fat girls who compensates with a pretty face, pretty hair, sexy fashion, etc.  (She is a sweetie otherwise though, a very big heart.)
• Another friend of mine is a typical American intelligent girl; she went to prestigious schools, is working in a prestigious job, and is a semi-knockout with her patrician blonde features.  However, she is at least 15 lbs. overweight, which isn’t a whole lot considering her height but it’s enough to keep her from being super-hot.  She doesn’t work what she has to compensate either, with sexy expressions, dress, voice and posture for example.  She just thinks she’s unlucky in love because she gets asked out constantly but by very “Beta” men for the most part (by quiet guys who are mostly just in awe of her, and haven’t accomplished as much in their education or work lives) .  Also, she is quite intellectual, high-brow, and opinionated, which I think are turn offs to most men.  She’s finally realizing she needs to be tone down the intelligence show and also act more girly, but years of being so butch-like are making her transition to girliness awkward.  She will sometimes say things that come out funny, or look kind of goofy or obvious when she talks about how much she loves to cook for example.  I wish her the best though… She’s the sort of girl who will do a lot of good in the world, and who always can answer any question I have about her areas of expertise and she’s amazingly open-minded and interested in other cultures (like the exotic half of my background 🙂 ).

The above are just a couple of examples, but they got me thinking…Am I in denial of the beauty improvements I can make? Roissy’s blog made me realize that the weight I thought was OK for me to aim for, is actually not low enough. I realized this on Friday. I’m also seriously considering getting some of those cosmetic surgery tweaks… it’s time probably!

Also I was looking at stuff like hotgirlswithdouchebags.com to pick out the hottest vs. those that just pass the threshold (heard about that from Roissy blog lol).  I need to aim for that top circle. It might be time for the cosmetic surgery I’ve been debating about…hm….

I’m going to focus as much time as I can on looking hot!  I want to look my very best for my Special Somebody…and for myself too! 🙂

Sad Skinny Secrets: ana and mia are the friends who will corrupt you

I seem to be coming down with something… could it be swine flu?  What’s sad is that I’m kind of excited… when I get sick I usually lose weight!

I’ve never had an eating disorder but I’ve been on the edge for sure.  For all the bad stuff people say about people who might be a little anorexic or bulimic, the girls that don’t carry it too far actually LOOK GOOD. I’m not talking about Keira Knightley or Posh Spice (Victoria Bekham).  I’m talking about Mary Kate and Ashley Olson… Angelina Jolie…  Megan Fox… I have a lot of curves naturally so the skinnier I get, the more the curves stand get definition (Jessica Alba style!).

Other sad secrets on ways I’ve tried to get skinny:

• Spit it out: I’ve literally spit out what I was eating when I realize how fat it would make me.  Gross, but at least the extra pound(s) won’t be even grosser later!
• Food poisoning: I hate to say it but I don’t mind getting food poisoning. It’s like being a little mia (bulimic) without having to force it!
• Thinspiration: I’ve tucked pictures of Nicole Scherzinger and Megan Fox into my purse before, to look at the next time I feel like eating freely
• Full on ana and mia: yes, I have tried fasting to lose weight.  It doesn’t work.  Your body goes into starvation mode.  Also, I can’t make myself throw up.  I have taken laxies and fiber to try to push food out of my system quickly after overeating before though.  Once I overdid this (a couple of weeks consistently) and my skin started getting sallow and dry.  I learned you can’t do that stuff long term without it affecting other aspects of your beauty.  You need those minerals and nutrients!

I’m still figuring out how to recover from momentary lapses of overeating and/or bad eating.  I think the skinnier one is, the more easily one can recover from a bad meal or two (or three lol).  So I have to keep at it with getting my skinniest and sexiest ever.

Thinspiration:

To get a younger man...who's a sports star...and french...look like this

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LSB daily beauty summary (it’s week 2!):

• Workout: indoor running HARD for 1 hour 15 minutes (aimed for 2 but didn’t make it).  My body aches so hopefully I exerted enough!
  
• Eating: lots of green tea with no sweetener, one coconut yogurt (270 calories…maybe 20 carbs…eeks… it was soooo delish tho), 7 almonds, 2 handfuls of grapes, 2 hoodia pills (was trying to stave off my apetite, which worked…didn’t feel like even having my salad…then i rebounded), vending machine trail mix, a kit kat bar, 12 mini cookies from Mrs. Fields, 1 more handful of grapes, limeade cooler with splenda.  This was one of my most UNHEALTHIEST days.  So much junk!  I can’t have something sweet to start off the day, it throws me out of whack too much.  And I have to fight the sweet cravings!
  
• Other beauty: been using the cream for my KP skin bumps… didn’t do my morning beauty routine or my routine last night, dopes!  I need to concentrate on this
  
• Fashion: dressed well for work for once, bought some cute new jewelry and cute new t-shirt, thought over my weekend fashion choices
• Weekend feedback:  I was good on Friday and Saturday but really overdid it Sunday…not sure why…I ate too much sweet in the morning again and it threw me off!  I need to cut any sweet portions by at least half if not more… and not eat the whole thing because it tastes good!  One bite at a time girl, one bite at a time…
  

Skinny Makes You Pretty All Over: not just tummy, hips and thighs

A post about East Asian women which happened around the time I had my own experience with some Asian friends brought me to buying this book:  Sex Secrets of an American Geisha.

I flipped through the book on Amazon, and it didn’t seem like it was all about tricks for the bedroom but had advice on how to look better, how to act feminine, how to enchant a man, and how to go from going out to getting married.

“The Asian Geisha works consciously at always becoming more beautiful, more sexy, and more feminine, even if only by implementing the tiniest of changes.  She makes enhancing her appearance and mannerisms a high priority so that she may continue to be thought of as attractive…

If she rests on her laurels and fails to maintain and improve her attractiveness, perhaps a younger, prettier apprentice geisha will steal her clients and also attract other gentlemen…beauty and a sexy femininity (as well as entertainment and conversational skills) are critically important to each geisha’s success.

…the world of the American Geisha is also extremely competitive, especially when you desire love and marriage with a (relatively rare) Good Man.”

Two big sections of the book cover weight loss and being skinny.  There were a few things which stood out to me in these sections:

• Being skinny doesn’t just make you get rid of fat rolls and smooth out your contours.  It makes you prettier from tips to toes!  This was a great list to look at to remind myself how important it is to stay skinny mini, and get even skinnier!  A great chart from the book:

• I also liked the section on common challenges many girls face when trying to find a man, from how to make time to how to spend money for beauty improvements!  Some of the author’s suggestions:

“To save time:  Get a less-demanding job; Spend less time cooking and eating; Spend less time on dates with inappropriate men; Spend less time on the phone

To save or make money: Get a smaller, cheaper apartment (Your Good Man cares not at all that you might live in a two-bedroom apartment rather than in a one-bedroom or studio apartment. And he doesn’t care what your job is either, even if you do care what his is.); Buy less food (note from LSB: sometimes those inappropriate men can cover this… hm so tradeoff between money or time… lol); Don’t vacation

To spend time and money on your highest priorities (note from LSB: in the book she talks about making your beauty a #1 priority, no compromise): Exercise; Have skin treatments; Wake up ten minutes earlier to style your hair; Pick a night to stay in,do your nails, and apply a mud mask; Plan and keep daily charts; Spend time every day accessorizing your outfit; Sleep enough; Take one tiny step each day toward becoming more beautiful; Become more feminine each day; Experiment with dressing more sexily”

I hope you enjoyed the above!  I found the book useful and interesting, and if you’re interested in more check out the book.  As I reference it, I may post some more of my favorite sections (for my benefit as well as anyone else’s!).

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LSB daily beauty summary (it’s day 1 of week 1!):

• Workout: walked 5 miles RT to salon (couldn’t do more intense workout since it would mess up my hair), walked up and down stairs, did a few squats.  Will do better with toning tomorrow
  
• Eating: green tea with splenda, 2 cups mexican corn soup with olives and 2 string cheeses, 1/2 cup homemade hot cocoa with splenda and pure cocoa powder, couple handful of nuts, bites out of a tricolore salad (rest for lunch tomorrow!), bread roll with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, 2 cupcakes (halfway through the first I was done but donno why I kept on going 😦 I shouldn’t have bought them!).  I will do better tomorrow!  No more overeating… gotta conquer this lazy mind and tummy
  
• Other beauty: got eyebrows done and wasn’t shy to demand the better person do it (gotta stay on top of this!), got cream for my KP skin bumps…just figured out that’s what I have… and it’s totally treatable yayyyy
• Fashion: ordered some hot shoes online that have just a bit of heel… fingers crossed they are sexy in real life too, bought a sexy animal print skirt for work…not sure if i’ll keep it but it just screamed subtle animal sexiness at me so will see if i can put an outfit together
  

Hot B-tch Inspiration: learning from a top tier girl

A girl I know (who I wish I was better friends with!) has one of the most amazing figures I’ve seen.

She is slim and tiny, probably a size 0 or 2, but soft as well. And she’s quite tall but not at model scale.

Her figure is curved and this girl is also blessed to not be flat – she has some nice little mangoes to fill out that top.

She looks 100% like a model.  She is easily among the top 3 hottest girls in the club based on raw body shape, looks and subtle sexiness.  And in every day life she is absolutely striking.  I’m not sure why she didn’t try to go into the entertainment industry… it might have to do with her man and his influence.

This girl is also the type of girl I would describe as a Hot B*tch.
Hot B*tches are what I would describe as very pretty, sexy and fashionable girls who are very to the point and take “acting right” very seriously.

These girls are perfect to the point of perfectionism: they eat just the right amount, they work out enough to stay hot, they always are well dressed, they just flow through conversations, they have perfectly maintained homes, they are on top of their errands and responsibilities, and everything they do is just right – these girls are in complete control.

Most Hot B*tches I’ve seen get in a relationship and then marriage fairly quickly. I think the supreme self-conscious and self-aware manner in which they are in control and logical makes them less prone to getting lazy or being needy.

From what I’ve seen girls who can be in a constant state of perfection with a man (externally and internally) will tend to get the guy to fall on love quick.

I was stalking her on Facebook… and was surprised by some of what I learned:

• In college she was skinny but not Victorias Secret model skinny and hot like now
• She doesn’t have a lot of friends she hangs out with a lot, although the ones she does hang out with are pretty “elite” (good looking, socialites, etc)
• She may have had very minor plastic surgery on her nose – it is so good I never realized except for a couple of photos and looking at the rest ofher family
• The guy she is with, although rich and successful, is a nerd! I wonder if he is attracted to her elite coolness an ability to hang out with what corresponds to the post-HS/college “popular crowd”
• Although a fairly strong b*tchy girl, with her man she is pretty mushy and even shows a lot of sensitivity
• She became more open about the mushiness after hour proposed (I’ve seen most smart girls do this)
• Her hotness+mushiness/vulnerability worked so well that her man is ok with her being a housewife after marriage – I guess the b*tch snob act is more of a public thing
• She works very, very hard to look the way she does

I am trying to copy her workout plan and attitude towards how I look, because I really was inspired.

She works out 2 hours at a time! And pushes herself to the limit when she does.  She works out to the point of exhaustion… and to the point of sometimes getting minor injuries.  She works through the pain.

She spends lots of money on regular hair straightening. I think she may even get lash extensions and lip injections too.

She doesn’t let haters get to her when they say she is too skinny.  I remember when we all went out to HH once, she had like 2 chips with salsa and when someone asked her why she wasn’t eating she snapped, “oh do you want these chips here take then.”. Go girl… Looking hot is more important.

She got laser hair removal everywhere… I’m sure she planned it out in order to manage the growth phase.

Her major free time activities are working out, shopping for clothes, avoiding eating, sleeping and beautifying herself.

When talking to her you feel like you are on your guard… she listens so intently and like she’s sort of evaluating you… but not in a bad way, like in a way that pushes you to be Miss Coolness.

All this got her a rich and successful guy who is happy to let her stay at home after marriage. And he seems happy too, she looks like she stepped out of one of his video games, she is that hot.

One thing she mentioned about working out (she does races) is about beating her lazy mind.

I am going to remember this every time I am tempted to skip my workout, zone out with TV instead of doing a pedicure, eat the whole chocolate cake slice instead of half of it, sleep an extra 30 minutes instead of doing my hair perfectly for work, shave instead of wax, and that other stuff.

With this… I declare this the start to

~~~SUPER BEAUTY MONTH!~~~

I am going to spend the next 4 weeks on everything possible to take my looks to the next level!  I’m so excited… it’s gonna be awesome 🙂